SINGAPORE: Conversations around Singapore’s shrinking total fertility figures have been everywhere lately, especially after it fell to a record low of 0.87 earlier this year.
Some have attributed the drop to the country’s demanding work culture, while others have pointed to the rising cost of living and how expensive it has become to settle down and raise children.
In one recent online post, a Singaporean man shared that for him, the biggest reason he has no desire to start a family is the burden of caring for his ageing parents.
Writing on the r/askSingapore forum, the man explained that both his parents spent most of their lives working “informal, cash-in-hand jobs,” which meant they did not build up CPF savings over the years.
As a result, he said they now have very little set aside for retirement and are largely depending on him for financial support as they grow older.
“Having to take care of them makes me a serf,” he lamented. “I have no ability to have children and thus don’t want to marry. I just want their selfish gene to terminate.”
He added, “It’s easy for the gahmen to talk about raising TFR, but they still refuse to invest in taking care of the elderly.”
Curious if others were going through something similar, he asked fellow Singaporeans: “To what extent has supporting your parents reduced your ability/willingness to have children?”
“Just extremely tired of having to parent my parents”
In the discussion thread, several Singaporeans opened up about the personal struggles that have shaped the way they see marriage, parenthood, and family life.
One person shared that they used to love kids and always pictured themselves having a big family, especially since they’re an only child. But things changed after their mum suffered a stroke.
“Life happened, and mum had a stroke that left her partially disabled. Dad quit his job to be a caregiver for mum. Dad is also a heavy gambler and takes money from my mum’s account (pension, CPF) to pay for his losses. Just extremely tired of having to parent my parents, the emotional and financial burden.”
“Seeing how my peers have such good family support when they have kids also got me a little worried about how I’m gonna cope when I eventually do have kids.”
Another commenter said their difficult relationship with their parents had completely changed how they felt about becoming a parent themselves.
“Having my parents as my parents has deterred me from the thought of having kids, partly because of the fear that my kids will have them as grandparents, and partly because I fear I’ll turn into them after having kids.”
“It’s not all just about the financial pressure of taking care of them in their older days; the gov doesn’t understand that some of us are using our adulthood to heal from the trauma of being kids to these parents.”
A third individual admitted they are already struggling just to get by in Singapore and cannot imagine taking on the financial responsibility of raising children as well.
“The max I can do is to try my best, taking care of my parents,” they added.
A fourth user wrote that aside from funding their retirement, both his parents and parents-in-law have explicitly “expressed that they do not want to take care of our kids and not to rely on them for child-caring activities, if we have any.”
“So this means an allowance for both sets of parents; infant care and/or a helper if we do have kids; and one of us stepping down from our career to care for kids.”
In other news, a Singaporean Threads user who tried to call out two national servicemen on the MRT has instead found himself at the centre of online criticism, after his post struck a nerve with many who felt the men were unfairly singled out.
In a post published on Tuesday (March 28), the user, who goes by the handle “chefphotodan,” shared a photo taken inside a crowded train carriage.
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