‘Nothing is truly equal’: Husband with S$22k personal loan says wife left him to shoulder all household expenses

SINGAPORE: A 32-year-old man shared on social media that the wife he once believed was liberal and supportive of equality left him to bear all the financial responsibilities “during his bout of unemployment.”

In his post on the r/sgdatingscene forum, he revealed that he has already taken on about S$22,000 in personal loans from family and friends. On top of that, he has been working part-time jobs just to cover his family’s living expenses and keep things afloat.

His wife, however, did not play her part financially. Despite receiving her maternity leave salary, she never gave him “any money” to ease the strain. Instead, he said he found himself in the ironic situation of having to “borrow” from her, only to use that very money to treat her.

Feeling disillusioned, he admitted that his ideals about equality had been shattered. “I used to think about the ideal of equality, but I’m jaded by my experience. Nothing is truly equal, and despite having liberal attitudes, most women still prefer traditional men.”

Adding to the heartbreak, he discovered the personal notes written by his wife where she admitted that “she no longer loved him” and believed the two of them were “incompatible.” For him, this was the final blow, and he concluded that his marriage was inevitably heading toward “divorce.”

“Your wife is a red flag.”

In the comments, a Singaporean Redditor advised the man to end the marriage while he has nothing to lose, cautioning that otherwise she could leave him later and “take everything” once he has assets.

Another remarked, “Cut your losses and leave now. If she can’t stand by and help you during this period, I highly doubt she will stick around during tougher times down the road.”

A third added, “That’s the ‘perks’ of being a man. You’re invisible if you’ve nothing; no one would come to help you in your darkest time. You’re all on your own. Your wife is a red flag; it takes both hands to clap for something to work. Yet as a married couple, she’s turning a blind eye when you’re suffocating. Just leave her. Your worst enemies are often the ones closest to you.”

Still, others expressed scepticism about the man’s story and said that before passing judgment, they would like to hear his wife’s side of the story.

Some also recommended that he talk to his wife in person about his issues instead of posting about them online.

One wrote, “Instead of crying on the internet about how broke you are, maybe talk to your wife and make solid plans for how you are going to get employed or meet financial needs (what corners to cut, etc.). Coming here to whine about how your wife is not giving you money is pathetic, bro.”

Another commented, “Rather than focusing on feminism, focus on how to provide for your child in the best way possible. Ultimately, both of you decided to bring the child into this world. The least you can do is focus on being a good dad.”

In other news, a domestic worker in Singapore has alleged that her employer’s son threatened to revoke her work pass while she was overseas if she refused to become his girlfriend.

The maid, who has been employed with the family for almost eight years, said in a social media post that the employer’s son repeatedly pursued her despite her clear refusals.

Read more: Maid claims employer’s son threatened to cancel her work pass if she refused to be his girlfriend