SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man who is nearly 40 recently confessed on social media that he felt distraught when he realized that he hasn’t achieved many of the milestones he expected by this point in his life.
In a heartfelt post on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, he shared his reflections on the pressure of turning 40 without having hit the societal markers that many equate with success—such as owning a home, getting married, starting a family, or even traveling to various parts of the world.
“Like wow I’ve lived for almost 40 years already, not sure what I have achieved for myself…Suddenly lost and don’t even know where to begin, except that in my first 30+ years I was always able to stash life choices and lessons to ‘it can be a learning lesson for next time,’ be it my degree or career…” he expressed.
“But now it feels like I need to be more certain, more intentional, and it scares me. I feel as if like I’m stepping into a new identity altogether, with the option to go anywhere in the world (might need to work on the visa or residency bit, I have nothing really holding me back in sg for context).”
He then reached out to the online community, asking, “Any wise and maybe more life experienced people can advise how to deal with this?”
“I suggest you try to find your passion and what motivates you.”
In the discussion thread, several Singaporean Redditors shared that they, too, have been experiencing similar “mid-life crises” and reassessing their own lives.
One Redditor shared, “Close to 40 too. I wouldn’t say I feel lost but at times I do feel empty inside and I’d say a large part of it is due to me being caught in the rat race here in SG.”
Another commented, “That’s me waking up when I turned 40 this year. So much uncertainty about my future. I don’t know what I want to do in my career next. I don’t know if I’ll be made redundant as I still work in tech as SSE. Made some stupid decisions in life and my CPF is also not much. Things aren’t bright.”
Meanwhile, others gave the man some advice, urging him to embrace living life on his own terms instead of being weighed down by societal expectations.
They encouraged him to find a hobby that sparks joy, dive into activities he enjoys, and reconnect with nature. Some also suggested taking a long leave to travel overseas and explore new places, reminding him that stepping out of his routine can offer fresh perspectives and experiences.
One Redditor added, “I suggest you try to find your passion/s, what motivates you, what makes you happy and what do you really want in life. It’s often when you have certain events or triggers in life that spur you to rethink about “what’s next?”. It’s never too late to ask yourself such questions.”
Another recommended setting a specific, achievable goal to work towards before turning 40. He wrote, “For me it was losing weight and getting healthier, I started before my 39th birthday at 103kg and got down to 77kg by the time I turned 40.
“It was very gratifying to hit 40 knowing I made a positive difference in my life and got me ready to face the rest of my life.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)