SINGAPORE: A man took to social media to ask Singaporeans if he should keep dating a beautiful and rich Chinese girl who has her own apartment in Shanghai and works at ByteDance, as his family thinks she’s only after citizenship.
“Due to the toxicity of my friends and family, I don’t know if I should continue this rs. They have this idea that she is dating me for immigration into SG and she is a gold digger etc but there was one time I cut off communications with her because of this but she didn’t really get angry that much but instead she told me she will support me in any decision I choose,” the man shared on r/SingaporeRaw on Thursday (Feb 8).
The man also revealed that her girlfriend had visited him in Singapore last year and again this year. He stated that for the first trip, she paid most of the expenses, attractions at MBS and USS, etc.
“For the second trip, we just walk around some parks and spend mostly in the hotel watching Netflix. I am still a student so she knows I don’t really have much to splurge,” the man added.
The man then shared some qualities that he particularly liked about her, such as being content with Hawker food and not being very demanding about going to fancy restaurants like his previous Singaporean exes.
“The issue is just the BTO and the stereotyping of my friends and family since she is from China. Idk what’s the issue with Sinkies looking down on Chinese from China, but it’s really upsetting me as I love her and want her to be accepted by my friends and family,” the man said, not knowing what to do.
“How is she a gold digger if she is paying and you have no gold to dig?”
Many Singaporean Redditors wondered why the man was having second thoughts about the relationship when his girlfriend was such a well-natured and beautiful girl.
Some were also confused about why his family was labelling her a “gold digger” when she had her own apartment and paid for most of their expenses.
One Redditor commented, “From what you wrote, there is nothing but green flags, so it’s confusing what kind of validation you need. Given she is well to do, especially compared to you, it’s quite unlikely she needs you for your citizenship.”
While another one said, “You’re dating her, not your family, grow a pair and do something for yourself for once and stop trying to please other people around you. If you mean anything to your friends they will accept her and your choice.
Sounds like you’ve got a good thing, you’re just too reliant on pleasing your friends and family to not nuke your relationship.
How is she a gold digger if she is paying and you have no gold to dig? Use your brain!”
One Redditor offered the man advice, writing, “Don’t listen to your friends. you know her better. and time will tell if she’s genuine. you just need to be aware of her true colors. she can’t hide them forever”
What do you do if your family is against your relationship?
When you love someone, it is natural to want everyone else to love them, especially your family, relatives, and closest friends.
Unfortunately, if your family doesn’t like your partner, it can leave you feeling frustrated and trapped in the middle.
So, what do you do in case this happens?
Talk to your parents about the worries they have. You could politely inform them that, although you respect their feelings, you disagree. To help them get to know your partner better, you could propose to everyone to try spending more time together.
Refrain from criticizing your parents’ views. It’s hard to stay calm when your parents tell you something you don’t agree with, especially when they’re sharing old-school prejudice that directly affects you.
But understand that attacking your parents will not change their minds. In most cases, if you do this, they may believe you are now disrespecting them “because of your partner,” reinforcing their belief that your relationship is unhealthy for you.
Instead, tell them you love them but think differently than they do.
Tell them about your partner’s good qualities. Sometimes, your parents don’t approve of your relationship because they haven’t had the chance to get to know your partner.
Let them know how you feel about your partner and how your partner makes you feel. Include a few reasons why you think you’re a good match.
Give your parents time to adjust. Changing their minds overnight with a detailed explanation rarely happens. So, in this case, it’s important to be patient. Wait for them to come around on their own.
If they see their child is happy and in good hands, they’ll eventually accept the relationship.