Man confused as GF gets upset when he spends time with friends or does activities alone

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media to share that his girlfriend often gets upset when he spends time with friends or chooses to do activities on his own.

He explained in his post on the r/sgdatingscene that while he has made repeated efforts to include her in his social life, whether by inviting her to gatherings or suggesting new activities, she consistently turns him down. 

According to him, she usually “gives excuses”, such as suddenly feeling unwell, and has never once accepted his invitations.

What confuses him further is the mixed signals she sends. Over text, she reassures him that she’s “perfectly okay” with him hanging out with his friends or pursuing his own hobbies. Yet, whenever he does so, her reaction tells a different story. “Just a few days ago, over WhatsApp, she got quite worked up about it, which left me really confused about her actual expectations,” he wrote.

He added that she has openly expressed “no interest in making new friends” and, from what he has observed, doesn’t appear to have close friendships of her own. Attempts to introduce her to his circle have also failed, as she consistently rejects the idea without hesitation.

Beyond her reluctance to socialise, he also noticed that his girlfriend has trouble expressing her concerns. 

He wrote, “She seems uncomfortable voicing out her views when we chat in person, and tends to shut down or gets teary when any ‘heavier’ topics come up. Most of the time, she only feels safe opening up via text instead of face-to-face.”

Unsure of how to interpret her behaviour, the man turned to fellow Redditors for advice. 

“Should I be worried that she avoids social interaction and doesn’t want to meet new or existing friends, or is this just a personality trait? Is it unusual for a partner to suddenly get upset about me seeing my own friends after previously assuring me it’s fine?” he asked.

“Am I reading too much into her not wanting to discuss things in person and being more okay with texting, or do these signal red flags? Just to clarify, both of us stated that we are dating to marry. So she did ask me how I am going to carry on all these activities when we have a child,” he added.

“This is a big no for me.”

Under the post, many commenters told the man that this was “not a personality trait or quirk” but rather a red flag. They explained that for a relationship to thrive, both partners need to maintain their own individual lives instead of being overly codependent.

One said, “This is a huge flaming red flag. That sounds insecure and controlling. And no, disputes should always be resolved in person.”

Another commented, “She sounds possessive, never a good sign. I am not overly keen on meeting my gf’s friends, but I meet them. She should understand that in order to be part of your life, she is going to have to meet your friends /family at some point.”

A third agreed with this view, writing, “Yeah, honestly, this raises red flags and doesn’t sound healthy in my opinion.. A partner refusing to have their own friends, avoiding yours, and then suddenly getting upset when you see yours is not just a personality quirk. It points to control issues and emotional immaturity.”

A fourth added, “This is a big no for me. People with no others to fall back on will lean onto you 100% for all their socio-emotional needs, and that’s exhausting.”

Some also advised him to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend before things spiral further. “If you see it as an issue, you need to bring it up and discuss it. Open communication is key,” one commenter wrote. “You need to decide whether you are okay with continuing this relationship, as it currently doesn’t sound healthy for marriage.”

In other news, a furious mother has blasted Grab online, demanding that the company “take action” after a driver allegedly mocked her daughter, who walks with crutches, and unfairly “slapped on a $3 late fee”.

In a post shared on the ‘COMPLAINT SINGAPORE’ Facebook group on Tuesday (Sep 23), she explained that her daughter, accompanied by the family’s helper, had arrived punctually at the designated pickup point.

“My daughter, who is ON CRUTCHES, waited with our helper for her Grab. Driver was nowhere in sight but insisted he was already there,” she said.

Read more: Mother outraged after Grab driver ridicules daughter on crutches and charges $3 late fee