Maid says, ‘My employer embarrasses me in front of her family when I ask for guidance; she will laugh and mock me’

SINGAPORE: A foreign domestic helper in Singapore has gone public with her plea for advice, saying she now wants to return home after being put through nine gruelling months of emotional stress under her current employer.

Posting anonymously on the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group, the helper shared that she’s been mentally drained from the constant nagging and humiliation — especially when she asks for guidance.

“She nags at me every day and embarrasses me in front of her family whenever I ask questions about the things that I don’t know about,” the helper wrote. “She will laugh and mock me first before teaching me,” she described the incident further.

The post, which the helper later deleted, probably out of fear of being identified by her employer, sparked concern and support from fellow helpers, giving a raw and honest glimpse into the silent suffering that many domestic workers endure behind closed doors.

🎭 Mockery instead of mentorship

Learning new household routines is normal for any new helper. But instead of receiving patient guidance, this helper says she is met with mockery — especially when family members are around.

What should have been teachable moments became public shaming sessions, and the emotional toll became evident:

“Now I’m not happy working here anymore, and I want to go home. I’m willing to buy my own ticket,” the helper expressed her dissatisfaction.

💔 Living in fear of being scolded

The situation has taken such a toll on her mental well-being that even hearing her employer’s voice sparks anxiety:

“Every time she calls my name, I feel nervous to the point that my heart wants to explode, and I’m already thinking what I did wrong,” she shared how the anxiety stemming from the situation made her feel worse.

The helper has to live in a state of constant fear and emotional tension instead of being treated with empathy and respect.

🧳 Is wanting to go home ‘unreasonable’?

“Am I being unreasonable for wanting to go home?” the helper’s final question to the group was the saddest part of the post, which, of course, the answer from many is a resounding “No!”

The willingness to pay for her own flight just to regain peace of mind speaks volumes about how broken the relationship has become. It also spotlights a pattern of mistreatment that some employers still normalise — particularly when they forget that domestic helpers are not robots, but human beings with emotions.

📌 A call for empathy from helpers to employers

This story reminds us that emotional abuse, though invisible, leaves deep scars in domestic helpers, who form the backbone of many households in Singapore, from caring for children to managing homes and supporting dual-income families.

The helper’s bravery in speaking up, even if just briefly, reveals just how much more work needs to be done in fostering healthy, respectful relationships between employers and helpers.

As for her question — whether wanting to leave is “unreasonable” — a better question would be: Why are some employers making basic kindness so hard to give?

Read related: Maid says, ‘When I ask my employer how to do something, she says I’m trying to be smart, but when I do it my way, she says I never ask’