Maid asks, ‘What are the signs of a good or a bad employer to look for during an interview?’

SINGAPORE: In a Facebook group post on MDW/FDH (Migrant/Foreign Domestic Worker/Helper) in Singapore (working conditions forum) where migrant domestic helpers share their lived experiences and workplace wisdom, one question sparked a cascade of raw, honest, and often unexpectedly heartfelt responses:

“What are the signs of a good or a bad employer to look for during an interview?”

The answers are a blend of instinct, red flags, gut feelings, power dressing, smiles that don’t reach the eyes, and the occasional surprise miracle in a five-room flat.

 “Use your heart to feel it, sister…”

While some offered spiritual guidance, such as “Use your heart to feel it, sister,” others went full CSI, advising helpers to scrutinise everything from the “helper’s room, toilet, dust bin, kitchen, their employer’s mannerisms,” to whether the employer offered water or a seat on the couch.

Yes, hydration and cushions now qualify as early indicators of humanity.

Another domestic worker warned, “Don’t be deceived by the smile and sweet words.” Her advice was to ask real questions. Rest time, phone access, food, day-offs and their reaction when you ask.

One even jokingly said she asks employers if she can “go out at night to exercise” just to test how controlling they might be.

“Communication is the best…”

One group member nailed it in three words: “You will feel it.” Another chimed in, “Communication is the best.”

A common thread was not just the tone but also the employer’s energy. A tired face could mean they’re overwhelmed and desperate, but not necessarily a bad thing.

A direct, blunt tone was: “If you can take the vibe, go for it.” But one helper’s comment made the group pause:

“My interview lasted an hour. Madam never smiled and asked if I smoked or drank. I was hesitant… but I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. Next May 2026, I’ll be in my 4th year with them. She never scolded me, and she was the kindest and most supportive employer I ever had.”

That same helper shared that although the initial job description sounded like a horror movie—“5 bedrooms, 5 toilets, 2 kids, catch lizards, can’t scold kids”—it turned out the madam did all the laundry, cleaned the master room herself, and left the helper to rest most days. Her final words were, “A kind employer will appreciate your service.”

“Employment is a two-way street…”

Others shared negotiation tactics: discuss working hours, food, privacy, and even phone usage rules. One commenter wisely noted:

“Employment is a two-way street. Besides money, both sides must have something more to offer.”

This is not just about surviving an interview. It’s about thriving in a home you’ll be living and working in—where respect is a currency, not just the S$650 salary.

Set boundaries, like a boss (because you are one too)

In a domestic employment process, the interview for helpers is more than just impressing the boss. It’s about sniffing out signals, setting boundaries, and making sound judgment just like the boss.

But then, as another maid opined, sometimes, “You can only see the true colours of someone if you’re already living together for 6 months to a year or two.”

Read related: ‘DO NOT HIRE A MAID!’ — Singaporean calls out 8 harsh truths and brutal reasons you shouldn’t employ helpers in Singapore