‘It’s very hard to trust them’: Employer says her maid never returned after going on ‘urgent leave’, calls for stronger protections

SINGAPORE: An employer has called on government authorities to implement stronger protections for households after her helper abruptly stopped responding and did not return to work following an approved urgent leave.

The woman, who shared her experience in the Facebook group ‘Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper’ on Tuesday (Jan 6), said her helper had only been employed for three months when she requested to return to her home country.

“She told us her mother was sick and asked for five days of urgent leave. I agreed and allowed her to travel back,” the employer wrote. “Unfortunately, once she left Singapore, she cut off all contact—no replies, no updates, completely missing in action.”

With no helper and a baby to care for, the employer said she had no choice but to take leave from work, disrupting both her daily routine and professional responsibilities.

“Right now, I’m under so much pressure that I’m even considering quitting my job just to manage childcare,” she continued. “This experience has been mentally, emotionally, and financially draining. It’s very hard to trust helpers after going through something like this. I feel truly disappointed and unsure about my next steps.”

Beyond childcare challenges, the financial impact was substantial. The employer revealed she ‘spent more than S$1,500 on the hiring process.’

As for their relationship, she emphasised that the helper had always been treated with respect and never subjected to any mistreatment.

“We didn’t overload her with work,” she wrote. “We gave her only basic duties and even supported her financially during difficult times, including when she was affected by floods in her home country.”

Recognising the severity of the situation, she urged authorities and agencies to introduce stronger measures to protect employers in similar cases.

“I strongly believe that sudden disappearances like this should be taken seriously, because employers bear heavy losses—not just financially, but also in terms of stress and disruption to family life,” she said. 

“If anyone has gone through a similar experience or has advice on what to do next, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.”

“Unfortunately, this is what it’s like with helpers.”

The post struck a chord with the community, prompting others to share their own disappointing experiences with helpers.

One wrote, “I’m an employer too. I used to have this kind of situation. No show on the first day when I needed to pick her up. She went to her boyfriend’s house after leaving her previous employer. The agent could not find her for 3 days. I cancelled the WP on that day. Very stressful and disappointing. Trust me, you are lucky this thing happened early before more damage.”

Another shared, “Never trust helpers. I once also did that—took a return ticket—because she promised to come back and told us her brother passed away and would go and come, all the crap. I paid using my own money, but she never came back, so much money spent on them all went down the drain. Lesson learned: Never trust them and send them back.”

A third chimed in, “Unfortunately, this is what it’s like with helpers. Fresh, experienced, all of them. So much drama, disappointment, lies, and no maturity. You have to remember where they come from; it’s hard to hold them to the same standard as a Singaporean.”

In other news, a 25-year-old man has turned to Reddit for advice after his mother began pressuring him to end his relationship, citing his girlfriend’s allegedly “poorer background” as the main reason for her disapproval.

Sharing his dilemma on the r/sgdatingscene forum, the man explained that he comes from a relatively “well-off, traditional Chinese-Indonesian family.” 

Read more: ‘She’s poorer’: Man seeks advice after mum pressures him to dump girlfriend over background