SINGAPORE — A Reddit user who did not grow up with a maid in their household recently took to r/askSingapore wondering how others, who have stay-in domestic helpers, do it. The Redditor huayi3 wrote on Friday (Dec 30) that due to illness, their family recently had to get a helper for their parents.
“I’m not used to a stranger in my space 24/7 (I wfh and usually home on the weekends/PH), and through no fault of her own, I find myself getting super annoyed she’s in my space. I am not comfortable with having this stranger close to me, touching my stuff (even though it’s kind of her job to help around the house when that parent does not need attention), needing assurances from me, getting close with me on my bed when I’m trying to rest, etc.”
The Redditor added that the helper sleeps on an air mattress in their parent’s room at night to help their ill parent use the bathroom when needed, an arrangement the family cleared with the helper and her agency. But the Reddit user’s problem arises during the day when the maid wants to rest.
In the comment section, the Redditor further clarified that “During the day sometimes I like to chill on my bed, so she will come to my bed to lay down beside me which I really don’t like but can’t chase her away because she don’t (sic) have privacy in other parts of the house.”
The post owner also said, “I find myself being so possessive of my bed, food, etc, and I’m sure she bathes but I keep smelling her bad breath and the fact that she sweats outside and then lay down on my bed makes me irrationally mad.”
The post owner added that they did not voice their dissatisfaction with the situation but asked for help on how to deal with it. “I just keep quiet and try to get away when I can, but seriously man, how do you guys who have maids handle a stranger all up in your space all the time?”
Other Redditors commenting on the post advised giving the helper her own space.
“And please give your helper her own personal space – perhaps she sleeps in your parents’ room at night out of necessity but you should, as far as possible, allocate a room or area in the house that’s hers to use,” wrote another.
The post owner agreed that this would be a big part of the solution, writing, “You’re right, I’ll see how we can make the study an area for her to rest without her having to carry her mattress around throughout the day.”
Redditors agreed that boundaries should be set.
“Your helper may be coming from different cultural background, so you all should take time to talk to her,” one wrote.
Another Redditor reminded about the helper’s humanity and dignity, which the post owner appreciated.
/TISG