SINGAPORE: “Given how expensive Singapore is, why are there still people who want children?” a Redditor asked plaintively. The poster, LearnAndTry123, confessed on the “askSingapore” subreddit, “There are two sides within me, many reasons to want kids and also not to have kids… I just want to hear some opinions from people who want children.”
Redditors responded in droves.
What kids want
“Kids actually don’t want your money, they want your time,” explained SnooRabbitS. “You can buy the most expensive toys there ever is, send them to the most expensive classes and holidays, but if you’re not there to spend QUALITY TIME with them, it won’t matter.”
“Yeah, I have friends bringing their young children to exotic places,” agreed furkeepsfurreal. “As a child, my parents brought us to Malaysia very often, and those are core, good memories!”
“And that’s enough,” affirmed Worried_Sheepherder5. “Regardless of travel or not, quality time is what they need from you. That would mean less me time, and I think our generation (puts) too much emphasis on having lots and lots of me time.”
“But times are changing,” pointed out snowybunny2, noting that kids are also learning to compare and contrast. “Glad you can appreciate that, but in this day and age, comparison is really the thief of joy,” remarked snowybunny2. “Primary school group chats. Every holiday, the kids are all talking about how they’re going (to) Japan/Korea/Europe. Kinda sad for those whose parents are unable to afford to bring them for holidays.”
Hardheaded Geft declared, “Funny enough, time is money. People who can afford to house their kids AND spend quality time with them are the ones with money. Poorer folks will be too busy making ends meet.”
Love to give, and kids to have
“You can always earn money,” countered child-loving ironhidemma. “Like you said, this is Singapore. There are a million ways to make money. I want kids because I have more love to give. I love my parents, wife, siblings, friends, and) family.
“But I will never love them how I love my kid and vice versa.
“It’s a different kind of love. One that you truly can’t buy with all the money in the world.”
“I have thought about this for some time, and I offer my perspective that there’s a certain richness to life that comes about when raising a family,” agreed MisoMesoMilo.
“Having a kid has been the best decision I have ever made,” admitted slamajamabro. “It has changed my lifestyle, what I prioritize, my financial decisions, the way me and my wife communicate, but the joy and meaning my daughter brings me is something words cannot describe. It’s crazy how full my heart can feel just by seeing her smile and hearing her laugh.”
Agreed Sweaty_Ambassador521: “After having a child, you will discover that you are capable of loving at a much deeper level. It’s totally unlike anything you have ever experienced. It will give you the strength to do what is needed for the child, and of course, it can be draining in many areas, too. It’s a lifetime of work, but you will also discover a kind of joy you never had before.”
The respondents also included worrywarts and the cost-conscious, who believed that not everybody could afford the time and expense of having children.
‘Not that expensive’
However, their worries were not shared by airpork, who wrote from personal experience:
“I have three [children]. It’s not THAT expensive to raise them (for now). After spending a ton on my first child, I realised it was all on overpriced rubbish when, in fact, all the kids want is our love and attention. I grew up in a single-income family; we only had trips maybe once a year. I had friends who could take (an) aeroplane every school holiday, but I never felt anything leh? My parents brought us for picnics, to the) airport viewing gallery, to) parks (to) cycle, and go (to the) beach (to) swim. I had a lovely childhood.
“Even now, my kids, they are still young, and we can comfortably provide for them but choose not to send them to enrichment classes. We spend our whole weekends together, be it going out, going nearby, or just doing activities at home (painting, digging soil, go walk, read, watch TV)… The most important thing we are giving them is still attention and care. My kids don’t get to use gadgets, so we all sit down to eat meals together every day and talk every night in the dark before bed. They are happy, kind, and bright kids. No regrets.”
Yes, there are people who love children and people who think they can’t afford them. But there are no prizes for guessing what the government wants: it’s concerned about the shrinking birth rate. /TISG
Featured image by Unsplash (for illustration purposes only)