SINGAPORE: Netizens are urging an employer to impose stricter rules after reading on r/askSingapore, an online forum on Reddit, that his domestic helper has been consistently coming home late.
The employer clarified in his post that his helper enjoys a lot of flexibility during her personal time.
As long as she completes her daily tasks—which include general cleaning, cooking, and taking his 7-year-old child to and from school—she is free to sleep, go out, or engage in other activities of her choice.
“My only real rule is, text me what time she is coming back and adhere to the timing, if she is coming back later, just keep me updated,” he wrote.
“She has failed to do so 7/10 times even after promising me that she will update me if she comes home later than the initial time she sets out,” he added.
The employer explained further that he’s only rejected one request for time off in the 6 months she’s been working for him, and that was because he needed her to help care for his child while he and his wife were away.
“As I’m overseas frequently and my wife is working as well, we are frequently not at home,” he said.
He then asked the online community, “Am I giving her too much freedom? Is my request to text me the timing too much?”
“You’re too lax. Structure benefits everyone.”
In the comments section, Singaporean Redditors told the employer he’s being too lenient on his helper.
They then suggested that he establish clearer boundaries and expectations, especially given the frequency with which the helper has failed to communicate her return times.
One Redditor said, “You’re too lax. Structure benefits everyone. Your helper has no structure in schedule, off days and off day curfew. You can be permissive and still provide structure (and flexibility within the structure).
She probably feels that there’s no reason why you need to know when she’s back so she pays lip service. She’s learned that her crossing your boundaries have no consequences so she oversteps. That also, I worry about whether she takes you seriously as an employer.”
Another quipped, “Not sure if you hiring fdw or hiring a freeloader lol.”
A third Redditor explained, “I think the lax rules make it very vague and does not translate to that much freedom on her end. This is similar to the unlimited PTO thing where you have to ask for permission to get it, so people end up not getting much PTO at all.
It might be better to set a specific day off every week, and that’s it. No need for asking permissions on a regular basis.”
A fourth Redditor proposed implementing a merit/demerit point system, similar to performance bonuses, writing: “Let’s say you give her a specific X-number of off-days in a month.
You can set a merit point system where you can grant an additional 1 day (or 2 days, depends on you) day at end of month, usable for the following month.
But the condition is that she must not go past the curfew during her off days during the current month, or something like that.”
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