SINGAPORE: A 21-year-old Singaporean has laid bare the heartbreaking reality of his family’s life after his father allegedly walked away from them.
In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, the young man claimed his father contributes just S$1.5k a month in maintenance while, in his words, “he’s living his single bachelor life with his new 3-room BTO.”
Meanwhile, he said the rest of the family has been left to pick up the pieces. His mother has sunk into S$80,000 of debt because of a chronic illness, he has been juggling part-time jobs while coping with debilitating obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) , and they are now considering selling their home just to stay afloat and pay off the debt.
Hoping they could at least have a roof over their heads together, the son asked if he, his 20-year-old brother, and their mother, who is in her 50s, could move in with him. But according to the post, his father simply “ghosted” him.
Since then, things have only gone from bad to worse.
“She [my mum] has already maxed out all her bank loans to pay off the bills; I’ve even loaned her some money from my savings to help coast through expenses for the month a while back. She recently got a job, but the company retrenched, so now we’re back to square [expletive] zero.”
“My mum is emotionally and physically burnt out; she broke down crying, and it broke my heart. I question how we even end up in such circumstances.”
Desperate to find a way out, he asked, “How should I cope with my [expletive] circumstances? I don’t even know if I’ll receive advice, as my situation is not the norm. But if I can know how I should cope with such circumstances, it would be really nice.”
“Consider filing for bankruptcy”
The heartbreaking post drew an outpouring of responses, with many Redditors urging the family to seek professional help before making any major financial decisions.
One commenter suggested asking his father to increase the maintenance payments.
The post author replied: “Oh, I’ve BEGGED my dad multiple times a year since 2022 to increase maintenance. He would give us S$200 extra for a few months and then stopped before Chinese New Year, lol. Then never gave for the past two years. Even begged him for a roof over our heads to sell the house and come stay with him, but he’s ghosted me over this so many times I can’t even count. He’s useless in my eyes.”
Another Redditor suggested that the man’s mother consider declaring bankruptcy if her debts had become impossible to manage.
“Ask your mum to consider filing for bankruptcy. It’s not an easy decision, but it can significantly reduce the stress of overwhelming debt.”
Others encouraged the family to exhaust every available avenue for financial assistance before selling their home.
One commenter wrote, “Before making any decision, sit down with HDB, a Social Service Office and a proper debt counsellor. Not a property agent whose solution will naturally be to sell the house. Your mum should also speak to the medical social worker at the hospital where she is receiving treatment. Ask them to review the medical bills, subsidies, MediFund, and any other assistance available.”
Another added, “I’m surprised no one has suggested yet, but have y’all gone to see your MP? They’ll usually be able to hook you up with the relevant agencies or assistance schemes that you might not even be aware that you qualify for.”
In other news, one Singaporean whose dream is to earn a five-figure monthly salary recently took to Reddit to ask whether “hitting S$10k/month salary is out of reach.”
Sharing his career journey, the young man revealed that he studied marketing at one of Singapore’s “Big Three” universities, a decision he now looks back on with more than a little regret.
Read more: Singaporean earning S$5K regrets degree choice, wonders if S$10K salary is still realistic
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