SINGAPORE: Society often expects us to have everything figured out by the time we hit 30—a stable career, a high salary, and maybe even plans to settle down.
However, one Singaporean man, approaching 30, has highlighted just how far he feels from meeting those expectations. Despite spending about five years at the same SME, he finds himself stuck on a S$3,000 salary with no sign of career progression.
Sharing his frustrations on r/askSingapore, he wrote, “I hate working here because my manager is my boss’s wife—it’s a whole family business. What should I do? Should I take a break for the time being, or should I just suck it up? I feel like there’s no career progression here anymore.”
The man also shared that all of his friends are earning significantly more than he does, which has only intensified his feelings of falling behind. To move forward, he mentioned that he has started searching for new job opportunities with better pay.
However, there are unique difficulties associated with looking for a job while still employed. Recruiters often contact him during office hours, but he hesitates to take their calls for fear of being ‘overheard by his colleagues.’
Feeling stuck, he asked the community, “Should I just leave? I’m not getting anywhere. Thoughts? No negativity, please.”
“I think you should ask yourself what you want out of your life.”
Surprisingly, many Singaporeans had little sympathy for his situation. They argued that if he was truly desperate for a new opportunity, he would find a way to take the recruiters’ calls.
One individual criticised his hesitation, saying, “Nearing 30 years old but can’t figure out how to take a personal call during office hours? Maybe giving him a S$3,000 salary is already being generous.”
Another pointed out that there was no harm in his colleagues knowing he was job hunting, especially since he was already considering leaving without a backup plan. He said, “So what if your whole company knows? It’s not like you’re going to lose your huge bonus or your huge increment or promotion. Suck it up, keep applying, and take MC or leave for interviews.”
A third echoed this sentiment, writing, “You have no obligation or reason to hide the fact that you are taking calls from recruiters/headhunters/other company’s HR.
They only pay you S$3,000, which is not much in 2025. And plenty of other jobs paying [a] similar amount of money for a lot lesser stress, for example, Saizeriya job posting said kitchen crew for S$3,000.”
Still, amid the flood of blunt responses, some users offered practical advice. They suggested scheduling calls during lunch breaks or finding a discreet spot outside the office to take them. Others encouraged him to assess his finances carefully before making any rash decisions.
One also added, “I think you should ask yourself what you want out of your life. Unless you do this, you will not be able to decide on the next step.”
The pressure of turning 30
Feeling anxious about turning 30 isn’t exactly a new problem. If you’ve watched the famous American TV series Friends, there is an episode where Rachel has a breakdown over turning 30 (Season 7, Episode 14). The whole group then proceeded to console Rachel and said that she wasn’t alone in this dilemma.
And they’re right; many of us do experience this kind of anxiety. But why does this particular birthday cause so much worry? According to psychologist Dr Alexis Whitton, it is often because we compare our current situation to the expectations we had for ourselves at this age.
For women, the pressure can feel even heavier. Clinical psychotherapist Dr Jo Gee points out that expectations around marriage, kids, and career stability tend to pile up around this age, along with concerns about declining fertility.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to remember that success does not follow a strict timeline. Dr Whitton emphasizes that while age progresses linearly, personal achievements do not always follow the same pattern. There will be periods when you feel accomplished and others when you do not, but these feelings are temporary.
Instead of stressing over where you think you should be, take a moment to recognize how far you have already come. Milestone birthdays like 30 can be an opportunity to reflect, but they should not define your worth or dictate your next steps.
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