Very often, we know our relationship is deteriorating, even too rapidly, but then, that sinking feeling is usually ignored, or perhaps we just can’t handle the idea of an impending breakup.
Here are some clues in general that things aren’t looking up too well:
1. Your significant other spends more time with friends than with you. Similarly, if you are spending more time with friends, it could also mean that you’re feeling less connected.
2. You never argue. Although on the surface, this may seem like a good thing, it isn’t because it just means you can’t be bothered to state your preferences, wishes, or desires and rather just agree to get things over with. It means negotiating isn’t even needed anymore.
3. When something big happens in your life, they’re no longer the first person you run to and tell. Whether it’s a promotion, a dressing down from the boss or winning an award, if your significant other isn’t the first to know, that already says something.
4. Boredom and malaise in general. When boredom sets in the relationship, it usually has a trickle-down effect on other areas of your life. Similarly, if you feel like you’re talking and talking and no one is listening, that’s another sign that your partner is bored with you or vice versa.
5. You feel alone even when you’re together. Even when you’re physically close to your partner, you feel emotionally alone. More dangerously, you start to wonder if you can do better. Maybe you’ve changed, or your partner has, and your interests are no longer the same, and you’re now just going through the motions or in a comfort zone.
6. You’ve stopped caring about how you look. Weight gain, a slovenly appearance, or just not being too bothered about how you look in general isn’t a good sign. Weight shifting can sometimes signify emotional eating or emotional upheaval.
7. Flaws appear larger than life. What used to be charming foibles now seem very annoying, and you notice them more than anything else.
8. Sex isn’t what it used to be. This is common and may not signify anything serious at all, but if it’s combined with some of the above, it can be a telltale sign. This is because sex isn’t just a physical thing in a relationship, it’s emotional and allows both parties to be vulnerable and open with each other.
If any of this does apply to you, the writing may be on the wall, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Either way, you can take steps to correct it or just wise up to the fact that it really is the end and move on gracefully.
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