MALAYSIA: A 21-year-old Malaysian woman has taken to Reddit to share her frustrations over her mother’s refusal to let her travel even though she is a responsible, high-achieving student. Although she graduated with a 3.8 cumulative grade point average (CGPA) and received an honourable award, her mother remains unconvinced that she is capable of handling an overseas trip.
The young woman explained that she planned to visit Bangkok with friends, one of whom has travelled there multiple times. She even offered to pay for the trip entirely on her own, proving her financial independence, yet her mother dismissed her request, insisting that even her older sister would never dare to ask.
Feeling restricted, she turned to Reddit for advice, questioning how she could overcome her mother’s lack of trust while striving for personal growth and independence.
Cultural expectations and overprotective parenting
Many Asian families place a strong emphasis on parental authority and obedience, which can sometimes clash with a young adult’s desire for independence. Overprotectiveness, particularly towards daughters, is often justified under the guise of safety concerns, societal expectations, and maintaining family reputation.
For some parents, academic excellence does not equate to life skills or street smarts. Despite this young woman being a model student, her mother seems to believe that she lacks the experience to navigate an unfamiliar city on her own. This raises an important question: How can young adults gain independence when their parents refuse to grant them opportunities for growth?
Netizens weigh in: Travel experience matters more than grades
Reddit users had mixed reactions, with some sympathising with the young woman while others suggested she needed more real-world experience before tackling international travel.
One user pointed out that the destination itself could be a factor in the mother’s refusal. “Maybe because it is Bangkok. Have you tried to travel locally first? Like Langkawi, Perhentian Island, etc.? Sort of a trial phase of travelling alone with your friends, to gain her confidence, of course. Just my two cents la,” their comment stated.
Many users criticised the young woman’s approach of using academic success as proof of independence. “Why are you even using your CGPA and achievements to prove you’re capable of travelling to Bangkok? You need survival skills, not academic qualifications,” one netizen remarked.
Safety concerns were a recurring theme in the responses, with one user warning: “You’re literally a prime target for kidnapping or being taken advantage of. You’re 21 years old, in a different country, a top-scoring student with zero experience in a foreign place, and a mother reluctant to let them go because she worries. Frankly, you’re a walking cliché in all thriller genres. I suggest starting smaller, like Bandung, Lombok, or Langkawi, then working your way up.”
Another commenter, identifying as a parent, took a more critical and frank approach: “Parent here: You are immature enough to conflate your CGPA (congrats, by the way) with your rights to independence. You don’t write like a top student, to be honest. I think you need a bit more life experience and demonstrate your ability to take care of yourself.”
Balancing independence and parental concerns
While overprotective parenting can feel restrictive, many netizens acknowledged that gaining parental trust takes time. Instead of immediately pushing for an international trip, some suggested taking smaller steps, such as local travel, to demonstrate responsibility.
For young adults facing similar challenges, open communication is key. Addressing parents’ concerns with practical solutions, such as sharing travel itineraries, staying in safe areas, and proving financial responsibility, may help build trust over time. Additionally, gradually increasing travel experience by starting with local destinations before moving to international ones may help ease parental anxiety.
At its core, this dilemma highlights the delicate balance between parental concern and a young adult’s right to independence. While cultural expectations play a significant role, finding a middle ground where both parties feel comfortable is essential for fostering healthy relationships and personal growth.
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Featured image by Vecteezy (for illustration purposes only)