SINGAPORE: A woman took to Reddit to ask if it was “valid for her to feel upset” after her boyfriend didn’t bother to plan anything for their anniversary and even made her split the bill for their so-called special meal.
On Sunday (Nov 2), she posted on the r/SGexams forum, explaining that her boyfriend of two years has never been the type to put in much effort for special occasions.
“On our anniversary, he didn’t get me a single gift, even though I was quite direct in telling him. We also split the bill for our anniversary meal,” she wrote. “He has also never given me flowers during our relationship, except for once — and even then, I felt like he only got them because I had asked many times, despite me repeatedly hinting and telling him that I would love to receive flowers.”
The woman added that although she doesn’t want to come across as “materialistic or unappreciative,” she can’t help but feel a little upset, especially when she notices that many of her friends are treated very differently by their partners. “Is it valid of me to feel upset?” she asked at the end of her post.
“You should not compare your relationship with other people’s.”
In the comments, one Redditor suggested that her boyfriend’s lack of effort might be tied to his financial situation.
“I think it’s dependent on how well off your boyfriend originally is and if you’re still in school, then it’s kinda normal for boyfriends to not spend as much money on their girlfriends since we’re all probably surviving on parent’s allowance or occasional part-time job wages.”
Another commenter encouraged the woman to have an open conversation with her boyfriend about her love language, which seems to be gift-giving. “Maybe you should communicate more about your love language and see his reaction afterwards, if no effort is made, you should decide if he’s really the person you want to spend your relationship and time with.”
A third echoed this sentiment, writing, “Some people have different love languages and maybe the way he shows love isn’t through gifts and such. If you feel a certain way about it, you can talk to him. But you should not compare your relationship with other people’s.”
A fourth Redditor added that she should be “direct and clear” about what she wants from him, while also taking his budget into account. They added, “If he still doesn’t listen, then I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to carry on with the relationship, because it just shows he doesn’t take your preferences to heart.”
In other news, a young man, who’s in his final year of university, felt utterly discouraged after realising that no matter how much effort he puts in, he just doesn’t seem to tick any of the boxes that seem to matter most to women.
Venting on the r/askSingapore Reddit forum, he wrote, “I overheard some of my girl friends talking about their dating preferences, and it really opened my eyes. I realised I don’t tick a single one of their boxes. Not looks, not height, not status. It made me wonder if the game is already over for me before it even started.”
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