SINGAPORE: When life gets tough, we usually seek support from our family. However, for one 30-year-old man, his own sister looked down on him when she found out he was losing his job in a month.
“Ever since she finished her masters I feel like she looks down on me saying things like ‘Whatever you say lor, I don’t understand your thought process, why haven’t you found a job yet?’
Whatever you do just make sure you got money to sustain yourself,” he wrote on r/askSingapore on Saturday (June 29).
He mentioned that things got worse after she landed a job she loves post-graduation.
Whenever he brings up ideas like selling stuff on Carousell or even trying to sell veggies in wet markets, which might not bring in much cash but would make him happy, she shoots them down as unrealistic.
“What she thinks is that we have to do something realistic and bring in income, and I have to do a job regardless if I like it or not,” he said.
While he acknowledged her sister’s point and agreed that financial stability is important, he feels that her sister doesn’t understand “his perspective,” which added to his stress.
“I feel like I’m at the age where I can no longer experiment with my career and I should find one and stick to it for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to be in a spot where I waste another year in a job and be back at the bottom again because I’ve changed industry,” he explained.
The man shared that he’s been working since 2016 and has always taken jobs regardless of “whether he liked it or not” to pay for his studies and living expenses and to support his family financially.
Unfortunately, his current research-based role ends after a year and a half due to funding running out.
“I am willing to gamble on risky/unrealistic opportunities, upskilling myself, and trying something new while being inexperienced.
I don’t want to relinquish myself into a place where I am dispensable and be fearful of everything I do in a company, but many times I just don’t know where to start or how to start.”
“Don’t care what your sis say lah, part time masters only doesn’t give her the rights to haolien.”
In the comments section, netizens offered heartfelt advice to the man, encouraging him to tune out his sister’s critical comments and not succumb to societal pressures.
They stressed that he should pursue activities that bring him joy and fulfillment, such as starting his own business or engaging in online sales through platforms like Carousell.
One netizen said, “Your sister is not helping you at all except to shoot down your efforts or ideas, so try to disregard her remarks.
May I suggest that since you’re passionate about sales, you can explore if there are any mentorship programmes available for it or read up on people’s experience online.”
Another commented, “Don’t care what your sis say lah, part time masters only doesn’t give her the rights to haolien.”
Some also reassured him that at 30 years old, he still has plenty of time to achieve success. They noted that many people, especially men, only find economic success later in life, sometimes not until their late 40s or even their 60s.
They emphasized that there is no single path to success, and sometimes, the most unconventional ideas turn out to be the best ones.
However, they cautioned that without taking action and learning from these ideas, they will remain mere fantasies.
A few also commended him for financially supporting himself over the years. One netizen wrote:
“Sir, you are a hustler and you have my respect for that. Keep your sense of independence and that positive attitude of self improvement.”
Still, others thought that he should heed his sister’s words. One netizen pointed out that it’s not easy being an entrepreneur or living off selling things on Carousell or the wet market.
He added, “Life is harsh and unforgiving. Your sis is right. If you want money to survive you have to take on jobs you don’t like. Ride it through and source for other opportunities in the meantime.”
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