SINGAPORE: A recent Reddit thread asked women if they expect their partners to have a “provider mindset,” and one 35-year-old woman’s reply quickly caught people’s attention. She admitted, quite unapologetically, that she now prefers her partner to have a provider mindset, and she has absolutely no plans to change her mind anytime soon.
Writing on the r/sgdatingscene forum, she shared that before meeting her current partner, most of the men she dated didn’t have that mindset. Back then, she often picked up the bill or split the costs evenly, and on the rare occasions when a man insisted on paying, she always made sure to treat him next time.
It seemed fair and progressive at the time, but over the years, she began noticing a pattern that made her rethink everything.
According to her, men without a provider mindset tended to be low-effort and unreliable, and sometimes even a little resentful towards women. “In the worst cases, they’re misogynistic,” she wrote. “They think all women are out to use them for a meal. I mean, they think women would trade their time for a plate of pasta, that women are gold diggers simply because they hoped to be treated to a meal on a date, la.”
She also clarified that her change in perspective has nothing to do with money or social standing. Coming from a comfortable family, she mentioned that she has never dated anyone wealthier than herself, and she has never been interested in a partner’s financial status.
“I do not date someone for their wealth,” she wrote. “But now that I’m dating someone with a provider mindset, I will never go back.”
Her current boyfriend, she shared, puts effort into every part of their relationship.
“He would provide for me if I ever quit my job (which I won’t), and he plans for dates, hand-makes gifts for me, fixes my broken items, takes care of me when I go for a simple surgery, and WANTS to provide in all aspects—love, care, finance, reliability, etc.—and puts in effort in all that he does. Similarly, if he loses his job or faces hardships in life, I would stick around and give all that I have to make him happy.”
“Women don’t need men to provide for us when we work and earn our own keep…But it’s a big difference in mindset when it comes to someone with a provider mindset and someone without,” she added.
“Everyone should seek out people who want to provide for them.”
Several Redditors agreed with the woman’s take, with one saying, “I’m happy you didn’t settle and have someone that loves you in the way you need and resonates with.”
Another shared her own experience, “Oh gosh. I went on a date with a guy who is like this. He asked if I would be ok to go Dutch in the future, and I was like, ‘No, because the act of gifting is my love language, and being asked to go Dutch is transactional and unloving to me.’”
“He explained that he just wanted to avoid women who go out with men for free meals. This came from a guy who claimed he had bought a private property—while I already owned one in my sole name. Joker.”
A third added, “I think this is such a good take, and I’m so happy for you!! I’m not a fan of the gendered lens when it comes to the provider mindset. I do, however, think everyone should seek out people who want to provide for them.”
“What’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t want the best for your partner, and your partner doesn’t want the best for you?”
In other news, a polytechnic student is seeking help online after she was suddenly fired from her internship without any warning or pay.
Posting her dilemma on Reddit’s “SGexams” forum, the Year 3 student shared that she had been interning at a local company for about a week when she was suddenly removed from “all group chats with no notice.”
Read more: Poly student says she was fired from internship without warning and wasn’t paid for a week of work
Follow Google News
Join us on WhatsApp
Follow us on Telegram