‘The gym is not your personal toilet!’ — S’porean asks all gym bros to stop their ‘guttural, vein-popping grunts’ because ‘nobody is impressed’

“A slight grunt when you’re pushing a personal record is fine. We’ve all been there,” he wrote on Reddit. “But the guttural, vein-popping grunt like you’re trying to pass a kidney stone the size of a kettlebell? Nobody is impressed,” he added. And just in case that still didn’t paint a clear picture enough, he explained further that “When we all turn to look, it’s not admiration. It’s secondhand embarrassment. We’re collectively wondering if we should offer you a laxative.”

PSA: The gym is not your personal toilet or bedroom.
byu/paperboiko inSingaporeRaw

The post took aim at a specific offender from Anytime Fitness United Square, who apparently took the term “beast mode” way too literally while attempting an 80kg bench press.

“Seriously, dude. Some of us use that to warm up. Control your breathing, not your bowels,” the gym member advised.

🔥 And “don’t get me started on the idiots who slam down their weights!”

Redditors were quick to add their thoughts, with one summing it up perfectly: “Some trivial exertion noises are acceptable, but certainly not the Forest-Gump levels of caterwauling,” and added that the noise is just annoying and distracting: “Other folks in the vicinity have to focus on their exercises too.”

But the problem isn’t limited to just vocal theatrics. Other gripes popped up in the comment section as well:

“Don’t get me started on the idiots who slam down their weights. If you can’t put it down properly, pick something lighter. Simple as that.”

One commenter humorously suggested confronting the noise-makers — but with caution: “I would have told them in person, but it’s generally a bad idea to interrupt someone while they’re giving birth to their warmup set.”

Still, not everyone was anti-grunt. One lone wolf admitted, “Not going to lie. When I’m alone in the gym, giving one Jurassic Park [dinosaur] roar has many times made pushing out that one extra rep much smoother.”

So what’s the takeaway?

You do you. But if “you” involves terrifying noises that could trigger a false fire alarm or frighten a toddler into therapy, maybe consider toning it down a notch.

As the gym member bluntly put it: “There are only two socially acceptable venues for that sound: A locked bathroom stall, or the bedroom. The free weights area ain’t it.”

In other words, lift heavy if you must, but leave the sound effects to the Marvel Universe… or even better, to Jurassic World.