SINGAPORE: A man took to social media on Friday (Sept 20) to seek advice on how he might change his parents’ mindset about their extreme frugality.
“Does anyone else have elderly parents who refuse to spend money to the point that it compromises their health?” he asked on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum. “If anyone else has handled a similar situation, I’d appreciate your insight,” he added.
In his post, he explained that ever since his parents retired, they have developed a deep fear of running out of savings, to the point where they avoid necessary medical treatments, eat instant noodles to save money, and refuse to spend on any form of leisure or enjoyment.
He also shared that their behaviour has worsened because they do not understand inflation.
“They constantly compare the price of things to what it was in their time. They’ll say, ‘We cannot buy this anymore since it was half the price last time.’ I mean, yes, but that was about 30 years ago?” he wrote.
“And with things in SG getting more expensive nowadays, their behaviour is getting worse and worse,” he expressed concern.
What makes the situation even more frustrating for him and his siblings is that, despite their offering financial support, their parents save the money and continue their strict saving habits.
Whenever they try to buy things for their parents, it often leads to arguments, as their parents believe they’re “wasting money.”
Moreover, he mentioned how difficult it is to convince his parents to take care of their health. “Things like forcing them to go to the doctor when they are sick is already so difficult, let alone for health screenings,” he said.
“We’ve tried explaining that by doing this, they are more likely to get sick and spend more money on medical bills, but they refuse to listen,” he added.
“Just buy them things and bluff them about the price.”
In the discussion thread, Singaporean Redditors pointed out that changing an elderly person’s mindset can be very challenging, which is why many have opted to bend the truth rather than try to convince their parents directly.
One Redditor suggested, “Take them to the doctor and tell them ‘the gahmen is paying.’ Buy nutritious food and tell them you bought extra and it would be wasted if they don’t help you to finish it, etc. If any are staying with or near them, order online so they don’t see the price tags.”
Another shared, “Grandparents for me: We lied and said doctors are heavily subsidized; we can claim from the government. Then we brought groceries over and said they were given to us by a friend who owns a grocery store, and these are the things he can’t finish selling.
Holidays: We lied about winning lucky draw tickets for them.”
A third Redditor commented, “Just buy them things and bluff them about the price. ‘Oh, I got it online, and it’s much cheaper.’ My parents are sort of like that, also. They have substantial savings but are still very thrifty.”
On the other hand, a few others advised the son to have an open and sincere conversation with his parents.
One Redditor said, “Have a heart-to-heart conversation, no judgment, no emotions after you audit their finances (CPF, bank accounts, spending habits). How people spend money goes to the heart of deep fears and compulsive behaviours.”
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