Singapore woman considers breaking up after BF refuses to propose within five years

SINGAPORE: One Singaporean woman says she is now questioning whether it might be time to end her relationship after her boyfriend refused to promise her a ring within the next four to five years.

Sharing her situation on the r/sgdatingscene forum, she said that when she first got together with her boyfriend three years ago, they were very much “in sync.” He is a few years older and quite ambitious, and both of them had agreed early on that marriage was not something they were rushing into. At the time, waiting another four to five years before settling down felt perfectly fine to both of them.

However, somewhere along the way, things started to feel a little different for her.

While she still does not want to get married immediately, she admitted that she would like some form of commitment before that four- to five-year mark, such as a proposal. 

The issue is that her boyfriend is not comfortable with that idea.

“I told him I do want a ring before these 4-5 years’ time (personal issue-wise—we can’t get a house together), and he said he’s not comfortable with that. I asked for ways he can assure me, but he doesn’t show up in his actions.”

To make matters worse, he also told her that some of his married friends see her as a “red flag” for wanting to set a timeline for a proposal, which left her feeling even more unsure about whether she is being unreasonable.

Now, she is stuck wondering if this is something couples can work through or if it is a sign that they are simply not aligned anymore.

Turning to others for perspective, she asked, “Will you break up with your partner who doesn’t meet your timeline because she or he fails to meet you in the middle? I just want to know some of the females’ and males’ advice here!”

“He’s not into you enough to put a ring on it.”

In the comments, several Singaporean Redditors came to her boyfriend’s defence.

“I’m a bit confused— you don’t want to get married now, but you want him to give you a ring within 4-5 years…? So basically you set him on a leash, sort of, to hold him down for 4-5 years until you’re ‘ready’ to settle down…? To be honest, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, too,” one comment read.

“You know that phenomenon where you were about to do a thing, but then someone says to do the thing, and now you do not want to do the thing, because it does not feel like it came from you and that you were told to? Yeah… It is like that,” another said.

Others advised the woman to simply end the relationship. “Break up with him and go ahead and find your serious marriage partner,” one user wrote.

“Well, Beyoncé said it best (‘If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it’). So clearly he’s not into you enough to put a ring on it,” another remarked.

“Don’t waste time, Liao. Just break up,” a third added.

In other news, a man earning S$110,000 a year has shared online that his girlfriend has been nudging him to increase his monthly spending to S$3,000.

Writing on the r/singaporefi forum on Tuesday (Mar 24), the man shared that he has been intentionally keeping his monthly expenses at about S$2,000, even though he is in a strong financial position.

Read more: Man earning S$110k a year says GF keeps nudging him to bump spending up to S$3k a month