Singapore woman calls boyfriend’s father a ‘useless parent,’ says he never paid for mortgage and and won’t help with bills or appliances

SINGAPORE: A woman recently took to social media to vent her frustrations about her boyfriend’s father, claiming he is “a useless parent” who leaves most of the financial burden to the rest of the household.

Posting on a local forum on Wednesday (Feb 11), the woman alleged that the father never pays for the mortgage, even though the house is registered under his name.

When the family tried to ask him about the payment once, the father reportedly fired back, saying, “I pay the property tax!”.

“Yes, that only. HOW MUCH IS THE PROPERTY TAX FOR A HDB, GUYS?!” the woman wrote.

She also claimed that the father only began paying for the household WiFi about two years ago, and that was after being pressured to do so.

The woman further alleged that when appliances break down, the father does not offer to pay for repairs or replacements. She cited the example of a 25-year-old refrigerator that recently stopped working. When asked to contribute toward a new one, the father reportedly declined, saying “he was already paying the WiFi bill.”

In addition, the woman said the father treats his son as his personal chauffeur. “He would ask my partner to fetch him around. He never pays for my partner’s car, petrol, or parking fee. The audacity this manchild has.”

She ended his post by turning to other users for advice. “Any other kid out there who has to deal with useless parents like this one? How do you deal with them?” 

“When you marry him, you’re going to marry his family as well.”

After reading the woman’s post, many children who had experienced neglect or exploitation at the hands of their own parents spoke up to share their personal stories.

One person recounted, “Both of my parents are gamblers—zero savings, no insurance whatsoever. They basically treat me and my siblings as a retirement plan, life insurance, and a personal chauffeur. They defaulted on the HDB payment because my father refused to work, so I had to use my CPF to clear the outstanding loan, and I ended up stuck, unable to buy my own flat when I turned 35.”

Another chimed in with a similar experience: “Same here, useless parents. My father doesn’t want to find a job and always lazes around at home, thinking his research on soccer bets will pay the bills but losing every time. Always asking for money.”

A third shared, “Unfortunately, useless parents are quite common; my father, too, was unemployed for many years and relied on gambling as his source of income lol. My mother was the sole breadwinner. I grew up poor and traumatised. And this is why I decided to be DINK.”

Others, however, gave her some advice. One user strongly urged her to think about whether she really wants to marry into the family because the father probably isn’t going to change unless “he gets into IMH or suddenly wakes up.”

“When you marry him, you’re going to marry his family as well,” they wrote. “If not compatible (yes, it includes the parents as well, since it’s unlikely you can shake them off), then perhaps it’s time to reassess.”

Some also advised the couple that if they were living under the same roof as the father, they should just move out and buy or rent their own place. “Just cut him out of your life; it’ll do a whole lot of good for you,” one said.

“If he is so useless, then move out, la. See if you have money to buy a house or rent or not, lor. The house you’re staying in is not free, you know,” another told her.

In other news, a 28-year-old woman who was laid off due to company restructuring shared online that she now feels completely lost after spending an entire year searching for a new job and coming up empty.

In a post on the r/askSingapore subreddit, the woman explained that she holds a degree in psychology and previously worked in the consulting industry, specifically in risk management.

Read more: ‘It’s eating me alive’: 28-year-old Singaporean shares despair after a year of job hunting