SG woman’s husband runs their household like a company, enforces bi-weekly KPI meetings, and more

A woman confessed on social media that she is worried about how her husband runs their household, as he treats it like a company – goal setting and performance meetings included.

The woman wrote an anonymous post on the confessions page NUSWhispers page, asking NUS Associate Professor Ben Leong for advice.

She first explained that they were both high-level executives at tech companies with decent six-figure salaries and living comfortable life.

However, she is worried that her husband treated their family as if it was a company, “with goal setting, performance evaluation and whatnot.”

She listed out some of the things he has enforced on the household, such as “bi-weekly sprint meetings and retros where we meet to discuss how far along we are in achieving in terms of our career growth, personal growth and fitness.”

The husband also enforced Objectives and Key Results for their son, who was in Primary School.

They have biannual performance reviews where they give each other feedback. “He decides a rating for us. He will also give an overall family rating depending on our overall performance.”

“Our family holiday locations and the budget are determined by our family rating. The higher the rating, the better the location (ranging from the Maldives to Sentosa),” she added.

“I’m a bit afraid for my son that he’s growing up in such a stressful environment and have an abnormal childhood. Will this be the case, or am I worrying over nothing?” she asked.

Responding to the post, Prof Ben Leong said in a comment that the woman’s husband was not normal and needed counselling.

“Your husband 有病 (ill). This is *not* normal. I think he needs counselling. You see if you can get someone to talk to him, or if you think that his abnormal behaviour is causing friction in your marriage, go for marriage counselling,” he advised.

“Your hubby is unlikely my student ‘cos my students are mostly SWEs. Only one girl is a Product Manager, and she’s not yet married. If any of my ex-students behave this way, their wives are welcome to complain to me, and I will give them a virtual smack on the head to wake up their ideas,” he added. /TISG

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