SG woman asks if she should stay and wait for her 29yo boyfriend of 7 years who’s always been jobless

SINGAPORE: A woman shared in an online forum that she’s losing hope in her 29-year-old boyfriend, who’s never landed a job.

In her post on Reddit, she shared that she’s ready to start planning the next stages of their lives together, including marriage and starting a family.

However, she finds it challenging to reconcile her dreams for the future with his ongoing unemployment and the limited progress he’s made in his job search.

“He is a wonderful man— kind, takes really good care of me, honest, respectful. But we’re getting old and I want to start building plans for our future,” she wrote. “The job market is difficult paired with his undergraduate degree in Psychology which is not in demand.”

Although her boyfriend does make an effort to apply for jobs, she can’t shake the feeling that he might not be fully committed.

Currently, he lives with his parents and helps with their family business, which allows him to earn enough money to take her out on dates and make her feel special. However, she worries that this comfortable living arrangement is making him complacent.

His parents’ home gives him a safety net, and while working in the family business brings in some money, it doesn’t offer the career growth or stability she’s looking for in their future.

Plus, her parents don’t want to meet him because he’s unemployed, and his family lives in a rough neighbourhood, adding more stress to their relationship.

“I love him so much but I am getting tired of waiting for things to pick up for him. Every time I raise this, he gets riled up on sending applications, proving to me that he is doing the best he could and begging I hold on a little longer.

Then he comes back to his normal self when we reconcile— and send applications half-heartedly. We’ve been together for 7 years already. Should I be patient and wait for him more?”

“Don’t expect him to change to fit your image of what you want him to be.”

The woman’s post struck a chord with the online community, prompting others to share their own experiences as well.

One user wrote that she left her boyfriend for the same reason. Whenever she tried to motivate him to pursue a career in his field, he would “accuse” her of rushing him.

She then advised the woman, “If your bf is not listening to your feelings or reciprocating your effort, and living comfortably off someone else’s dime, you need to re-evaluate if your values really align the way you need them to.”

Another user mentioned that she’s the one who always makes an effort to travel to see her boyfriend because he’s low on cash. However, she admitted that she’s been rethinking their whole relationship lately because she now wants more stability in her life.

She added, “I haven’t decided yet what I’m gonna do next because I’m processing all this.”

A third user said, “Your partner has never had a job at 29. He needed to start applying for anything a long time ago if he wasn’t getting work in his field of interest.

You already know and said it yourself — he’s complacent and content living on his parents’ dime. If you want to bankroll him for the rest of his life, go ahead, but don’t expect him to change to fit your image of what you want him to be.”

Still, one user disagreed and pointed out that finding a job is hard nowadays. He said, “You have a lot of history together. Stick around for when he finally makes it. Have you communicated more with him about your concerns?”

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Featured image by Depositphotos