Puzzled son asks how to deal with “my parents with zero savings, investments, and insurance but still take loans for condo, cars, holidays, etc.”

SINGAPORE: A man shared his concerns on social media about how the burden of his parents’ retirement will inevitably fall on him.

Posting on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, he explained that his parents have always made poor financial decisions—from taking out loans for condos, cars, holidays, etc., without building any financial safety net.

The worst part, he expressed, is that they don’t consider the consequences of their actions.

“It frustrates me that they both have ZERO financial literacy. Their whole lives have been nothing but one bad decision after the next,” he said.

“They are pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. They have your normal median income,” he added.

Despite his efforts to build his career and achieve financial stability—becoming the first in his family to graduate with a degree and pursue an MBA—he now faces the heavy reality that his parents’ lack of planning will fall squarely on him in the future.

While he’s accepted this as part of his duty to his family, he’s still puzzled by why his parents consistently spend more than they can afford.

“A couple of months back, they asked me for money to pay off some stuff, which I obliged. Today, they returned the money. And I was happy until I found out that they took another December holiday loan,” he wrote.

When he tried explaining how much more they’d end up paying because of the interest, his parents shrugged it off, saying, “Aya $xxx per month only mah, can pay one.”

Feeling stuck, he reached out to the Reddit community for advice, asking, “How do I deal with parents who have ZERO financial literacy?”

“They will keep doing what they are doing so long as you are there to bail them out”

In the comments section, a few Singaporean Redditors advised him to inform his parents about how their choices place an undue burden on him.

One Redditor said, “Have the conversation first, be firm, and state that you know they have no savings and depend on you, but you are not a millionaire.

Outright, tell them that they need to stop making bad decisions. If all these still cannot get through to them, then intervention by other relatives.”

Another commented, “Tell them they need to get their head out of lala land. They will keep doing what they are doing so long as you are there to bail them out.

Filial piety is to help parents who cannot support themselves, not feed into bad spending habits.”

A third remarked, “You’re not responsible for your parents’ retirement. A lot of boomers are usually stubborn about changing their ways. Just ensure you’re not giving them any money to cover their expenses.”

Others, meanwhile, suggested he help his parents plan out their retirement and explain to them that while he appreciates all their support in raising him, he also has his own future and goals to think about.

By having this kind of conversation, he can express gratitude while clarifying that he needs his independence, too.

One Redditor expressed, “Zero savings, insurance and investments. Sounds like they invested in you and brought you up to where you are now. You owe it to them.

Talk with your parents about their retirement plans, and let them know you will get your property at some point and move out.”

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