After a Singaporean in her mid-20s recently asked for advice about moving out, many left encouraging comments on Reddit, with a number of them saying their relationship with their parents got better after they moved out.
The individual posting the comment wrote that her main reason for moving out was “to be able to live my life on my own terms and not being expected to live according to my mom’s rules not having to live with someone with a really bad temper and live like I’m walking on eggshells all the time.”
Her mother’s hot temper is a big stressor in her life, she said, with her mother randomly picking fights with people at home over the smallest things.
“I want to rent a studio (pretty comfortable salary though I know layoffs are coming, but Have deep savings and have been quite frugal),” Agile-Run7029 wrote on Dec 19 on r/askSingapore, “but mother threatens to make my life hell…if I rent because she thinks 1. Rent is like paying people’s mortgages, she will only permit buying a house. 2. Moving out before marriage is abandoning them.”
The individual concerned isn’t ready to commit to marriage yet as her partner is still studying and she doesn’t want to buy a resale property, and buying private property on her own “might not be a good option for partner and $ reasons.”
She also wrote that her mother does not allow her to travel solo to certain countries, including Malaysia and Thailand.
“When I travel, she expects daily reports. If I go ahead and travel anyway, she will lock me out of the house and destroy my belongings. I live with my parents so my mom decides that I need to live by her rules,” she added.
“So is waiting to buy a house the best solution?” the woman asked other Reddit users.
One big piece of advice she got was to move out, with some Reddit users saying this improved their relationships with their parents.
Others also offered practical advice.
“You already have the money to rent. Its very good already. She say she ‘permit’ you to buy house, maybe it’s just a way to delay you till 35. How you know she won’t do whatever she threaten to do even if you buy a house instead of renting?”
“You’re an adult. The current situation is bad for your mental health (yes mental health is a thing no matter what boomers say), you have the means to rent while saving for resale apartment, just go ahead and do it. your life will be so much better. source: been there, done that, huge weight lifted off my shoulders,” wrote another.
“Rent. You have no other options. For a start, why don’t you rent a hdb room for 6 months first OR rent a room in a condo for 3 months. That’s the minimum. Sort out your thoughts in that period. Also that 3/6 months rental will not cause a dent in your savings. Take it as tour expense or something.”
“You’re an independent adult. Act like one,” said one comment.
/TISG