‘My paycheck feels like a joke, everyone’s racing ahead — I’m still figuring out where to go’

SINGAPORE: In a recent post from Reddit, a 29-year-old netizen wrote with desperation that in the last family dinner he attended, he was just sitting in silence, watching the evening take its course like a show he isn’t part of. Around him, his younger brothers and sisters eagerly talked about their job promotions, milestones in their love lives, and their next travels abroad. He pretended to beam with pride, but inside, he was miles away.

Unlike them, he wasn’t rising up the corporate ladder or gathering honours. He was still in an entry-level job role, earning a lot less than his siblings. Being the eldest, the burden of expectation felt weightier with each passing year.

It isn’t that he detested his job. He found purpose in assisting guests and making people feel welcome, but in a culture that gives importance to job titles, high salaries, and accelerated success, just liking your job can feel like you’re missing the point.

“I’m drifting,” he wrote in a Reddit post that swiftly resonated with many. “I feel lost in a fog, trying to move forward but unsure where I’m going.”

The pressure to measure up

Comparison is persistently present in Singapore’s fast-paced and results-driven society. For him, family get-togethers only expanded his feelings of inadequacy. “I’ve become distant from my relatives,” he confessed. “Conversations feel foreign, and social media—it’s a relentless reminder of how far behind I seem.”

Among the many responses, one Redditor wrote: “I’ve been in the rat race. Promotions aren’t always worth the stress. If you like your job, that’s already a win, and just because someone earns more doesn’t mean they’re doing more for the family. Sometimes, time and presence mean more than money.”

Another user weighed in with an experiential outlook: “Steve Jobs had it all—money, fame, success, but he’s gone, and none of it matters now. The truth is, the only things that last are health and happiness. You can start having that today, right where you are.”

Some comments motivated the poster to look inwards instead of outwards: “Stop asking, ‘Why am I not there yet?’ and begin reflecting, ‘What kind of life do I want to live?’ You said you are happy helping guests, that’s not small. Maybe that’s your purpose.”

Breaking free from comparison culture

In a place where competition begins in kindergarten and never stops, getting off the treadmill can feel like a letdown. But several commenters claimed otherwise.

“Being the eldest comes with a lot of invisible pressure,” one person said. “But your journey isn’t supposed to look like anyone else’s. Be your main character. Let everyone else be the NPCs in your story.”

It’s a compelling idea — life isn’t a race after all, but a story, and how each one’s narrative unfolds is each one’s decision to make.

The quiet power of staying true

Opting for an unhurried, gentler pathway—a more meaningful route—might not earn a standing ovation or thousands of social media likes. Nonetheless, it takes a different kind of strength to outline and express success on your own terms.

So, if you’ve ever felt that you’re left behind, you’re not alone. If you feel lost while everyone else appears to be hurtling ahead, always remember—not all journeys are meant to look like a direct line. Sometimes, they are zigzagging, muddled, chaotic, and profoundly human.

As one commenter reminded the poster, “Your time will come. Just keep moving, even if the path isn’t clear yet.” Because maybe you’re not falling behind. Maybe you’re just writing a different kind of story.