‘My helper eats instant noodles every day and refuses to eat rice’ — Employer asks, ‘How to get her to cook and eat rice?’

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean employer took to the MDW in Singapore (working conditions forum) Facebook group with a humble but health-conscious concern about her maid:

“Hi, may I know what helpers eat for lunch? I’ve noticed that my helper typically eats instant noodles for most of her lunch and only cooks rice on 1-2 days a week. I’ve been telling her that it’s not good to eat instant noodles every day. May I know how to get her to cook and eat rice?”

A genuine concern from the helper’s employer, perhaps, but her question stirred a boiling pot of responses. Some commenters suggested it’s probably not about rice at all but about past trauma and kitchen politics.

“Maybe she’s afraid to cook something else. Even though you ask her to cook rice, she’s afraid the rice will finish very fast,” one wrote. “There are a lot of employers who ask their helpers, ‘Why the rice finish so fast, huh?! Why you eat my veggie?’ Even detergent finish, also must give an answer why!”

Another domestic worker bravely voiced out with a powerful firsthand account, typing in caps for maximum effect: “YES, EVERY DAY I ATE NOODLES TOO, FOR EVERY LUNCH! YOU KNOW WHY? NO CHOICE!” “EVEN TOMATO ALL COUNTED! IF I COOK MORE RICE, SHE (EMPLOYER) SAYS, DON’T COOK TOO MUCH! EAT LESS! SOME EMPLOYERS ARE CALCULATIVE. THEY WILL LOOK FOR THE FOOD THEY TAPAU OR EVEN LEFTOVERS.”

She ended her rant with a plea: “MAYBE YOUR HELPER IS NEW WITH A NOT-SO-GOOD EXPERIENCE IN THE PREVIOUS EMPLOYER… MAYBE YOU CAN TALK TO HER, MA’AM.”

Read related: ‘I don’t want to eat anymore because my boss is so calculative’ — Maid says her employer wants to know each item she eats every day

Others were quick to offer constructive advice. One veteran employer of 45 years had a simple solution: “Just stop buying instant noodles. In my home, anything instant is banned. No prepackaged anything.”

Another offered empathy and empowerment: “I tell my helper she can buy food from the food centre (e.g., S$5 cai fan) and I pay for it, or she can prepare her own food. Let her choose.”

And to her credit, the Singaporean employer, who initially asked for advice, came across as more sincere and concerned than controlling to many group members. One even wrote:

“It’s so heartwarming to hear your concern for your helper’s well-being. It is truly commendable. Many helpers often go unappreciated, and your kindness can make a significant difference in her life. It’s great that you’re taking the time to think about her eating habits and how they affect her health. Perhaps you could consider providing her with some ingredients or cooking classes to help her prepare healthier meals?”

And so, what’s the real issue here? Rice? Instant noodles? Or a lingering legacy of fear that some helpers carry from past employers?

Maybe the answer isn’t in the pantry or in a Facebook group but in a heart-to-heart conversation between an employer and her helper.

Read related: ‘Can I eat instant noodles every day to survive in Singapore?’ — Doctors say no unless you want ‘instant’ stroke and fall flat on the floor!