SINGAPORE — A woman’s daughter took to social media because she found that her mother favoured her elder sister by giving her more money each month.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the younger daughter wrote that she started out with humble beginnings where at “the age of 15, parents divorced and I had to start working part time after my O levels. I supported myself thru part time job, juggled between PT and poly school days, paid for my own daily expenses, school fees and etc”.
She added that after she got married and had her own child at age 26, she would spend lesser money on her own mother. However, she wrote that “Somehow as we age, my mum has expectations on this. For CNY, she expects gifts, money to buy CNY goodies, money to bao angbao”.
“My elder sister recently got married and my new brother-in-law shows no respect for our family at all. BUT, since his family is rich and he often gives my mother money (probably $50 or $100 each time they meet, erm 2-3 times a week), my mother grew to like him despite him being disrespectful to our family”, the woman wrote. She added that she felt that because she could not give her mother the same amount of money, she was cast aside as being unfilial. “Every month I give her $300 allowance and she is still asking for more”, the woman wrote.
“when my husband and I bought her “snacks” like the old days, she doesn’t appreciates anymore. She will find it as “cheap food”. She prefers to eat atas food where she can take photo upload on Facebook to show off to her friends. CNY we bought her goodies, she doesn’t even take a glance at it”, the added. While her husband advised her to not pay much attention to it because her mother only valued monetary compensation, the woman wrote that she was deeply affected by it.
Here’s what netizens said in response to her post:
Last year, a mother of three working adult children expressed that she was unsatisfied with the amount of money they each gave her.
As such, one child took to social media to ask others what an appropriate amount to give her. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page on Thursday (Sept 29), the child wrote that she and her two siblings supported their mother completely.
Their mother was a single parent, and she was a housewife that rarely cooked, she was no longer working and did not expect any CPF money for her retirement. Her child added that her mother’s house was fully paid up, and she did have some savings.
“What is the appropriate amount to be given by each kid ? Siblings mutually agree on 600-800 each that sums up to 1.8-2.4K monthly allowance for her, does this sound reasonable ? Would like to know in general how much is everyone giving ? Because mother seems unsatisfied and believed that children should not fix an amount and put a cap on it (increases as your working experiences )”, the child wrote.
The child added that she and her siblings tried to communicate with their mother on this matter but could not come to an amicable conclusion. All three siblings had a plan for their own futures and retirement and felt that it was not feasible to increase the allowance they gave her based on their own salary increments.
The child asked other netizens what could possibly be the reasons that resulted in her mother’s desires and anxieties.
They wrote: “We bought her gadgets/gold that she wanted, brought her to restaurants/holidays. So is 2K very little to spend ?”