Mother of three asks if she should take out a ‘S$600k mortgage’ to upgrade to a bigger flat to give her children more space and privacy

SINGAPORE: Fearing that her three children would one day feel suffocated in their modest three-bedroom HDB flat, a mother turned to Reddit for advice, wondering if she and her husband should take out another mortgage to secure a more spacious home.

Sharing her predicament on the r/askSingapore forum on Monday (Oct 22), the mother revealed that she and her husband of ten years were about to complete their S$340,000 mortgage for their current flat when it dawned on her that their three children—aged 10, 3, and just 10 months—would likely struggle with the cramped quarters and lack of privacy as they grew older.

Because of this, she and her husband have been considering upgrading to a nearby four-room resale flat, which would cost at least S$600,000.

“The 4 room resales near us are at least S$600k, and they were built around 1977 and 1978, and it needs to be nearby because we need to be close to my ageing parents and grandma,” she wrote.

Unfortunately, she and her husband have a combined income of only S$8,000, which is barely enough to cover their current expenses. “I don’t earn as much as I used to anymore due to downgrading my job to cater to pressing family needs; we have a neurodivergent child who needs a lot of attention.”

She then explained that if they were to go ahead with purchasing a nearby four-room resale flat, she would likely need to return to full-time work just to manage the mortgage.

“It’s a pain point for me just imagining paying the mortgage again and possibly having to fork out cash every month. [But] I feel like if I don’t move out/provide rooms for the kids, that I am shortchanging them. At the same time, upgrading and having to work full-time also feels like betrayal because my ND child benefits when I am around him. He is more regulated and less impulsive,” she said.

Stuck in this dilemma, she turned to fellow users for advice, writing, “If you lived in a small home growing up and shared a room, what effect did it have on you (if any)? Do you think I could reasonably eke out 3 bedrooms out of my 3 room flat and make it work? I have an idea to renovate our 3 room flat to have 3 bedrooms. Each room will be about 3m x 2.8m.”

“If I were your daughter, god-daughter or beloved niece, what would you tell me about my situation?”

“You have about 5-6 more years to save up and get a 4-room flat.”

Many Singaporean Redditors joined the discussion, sharing their memories of growing up in cramped rooms alongside siblings.

One Redditor recalled, “When I was young it didn’t really bother me too much, but when I hit my teens, the lack of privacy became a source of resentment and frustration, and I became a really angry teen.”

“Your kids are young right now so they won’t be voicing out their unhappiness (yet), but if you’re financially able, I would not have them still share rooms especially when they are teens.”

Another commented, “I only had my own room when I was in my early 20s. The lack of privacy is real. Worse was when visitors came, all my stuff was out in the open common areas. So I really despise people touching my things. And I became very protective of my privacy.

“I never blamed my parents or hated them for it though. It is just what it is. I just looked forward to getting my own room. When I got it, I finally could decide what wall colors I wanted, and what furniture I wanted.”

Some Redditors also shared their advice with the mother, encouraging her to think about moving to a bigger flat, but only when the time feels right. 

They said it might make more sense to wait until her children are a bit older and really need their own space. More importantly, they reminded her not to rush into another mortgage unless she and her husband are financially ready.

One added, “Your kids are still young, the eldest being 10. Based on my calculation, you have about 5-6 more years to save up and get a 4-room flat. Usually, when kids reach around 15-16 and above, that is when privacy is necessarily needed.”

In other news, an employee shared online that her supervisor decided to deduct her salary at the last minute after she submitted her resignation, claiming it was because “the company needed to hire new staff to replace her”.

In a post on a local forum on Oct 6, the employee said she was taken aback by the decision as there had been no mention of such a condition when she first joined.

Read more: Employee says supervisor docked her pay after she resigned, claiming the money was needed to ‘hire new staff’