Man earning more says GF feels bad when he pays for dates and becomes emotional during her period

SINGAPORE: While some women love the idea of having a partner with a “provider’s mindset,” one rather exasperated boyfriend confessed that his girlfriend is quite the opposite.

Taking to the r/sgdatingscene subreddit on Sunday (Oct 12), he shared that even though he earns considerably more than she does and doesn’t mind footing the “lion’s share” of their date expenses, his girlfriend simply can’t seem to take it easy.

According to him, she gets visibly uneasy whenever he picks up the bill. 

“I am personally fine with this [arrangement]. I don’t mind—it’s just the practical arrangement given our income difference…however, she feels uncomfortable with me covering so much,” he wrote.

Aside from this issue, the man said that he’s also struggling with his girlfriend’s “extreme mood swings” whenever her period comes around. “At times, she becomes very moody and throws temper tantrums, and it can be emotionally exhausting for me.”

At his wits’ end, the man turned to the online community for advice, writing, “I want to resolve this without making her feel guilty or pressured, but I’m out of ideas. How do couples in similar situations handle this fairly while keeping both parties comfortable?”

“Would appreciate any perspectives, especially from people who’ve dealt with both financial imbalance and relationship strain during periods.”

“You need to have an open conversation.”

In the comments section of his post, Singaporean Redditors chimed in with suggestions on how the couple could handle their date expenses more comfortably.

One user proposed that they “each take turns” covering the costs. “Can just take turns to pay for different things. For example, today I pay for dinner, tomorrow she pays for lunch, and of course, you can choose a not-so-expensive place for lunch, lah,” the commenter wrote.

Another advised him to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend about money. “You need to have an open conversation and suggest splitting costs proportionally to income or going on budget dates to ease her guilt, while reassuring her that you’re happy to contribute,” the user said.

A third commenter, who identified as female, recommended alternating date nights. “You both plan alternate date nights and pay, so whoever plans the date night pays. That way, she can also plan and pay depending on her budget. So, week one you plan and pay, week two she does, and so on and so forth,” she wrote.

As for his girlfriend’s mood swings, one user suggested, “If you plan to be in the relationship long term with her, you gotta communicate okay. You have to let her know after the period that you can get overstimulated, too, when she throws tantrums.”

They added, “Create a safe word between y’all. So if she needs space, you give her space. If she wants to talk about it, then talk about it. If she wants cuddles, then go for it.”

In other news, one jobseeker says she’s “pissed off” after an interview she had carefully prepared for lasted only two to three minutes, ending abruptly with little more than a few questions and a quick “Thanks, we have other applicants.”

Sharing her experience on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit on Friday (Oct 10), the 22-year-old explained how ridiculous the whole thing felt. According to her, the interview consisted of only about four questions: what she was currently doing, whether she knew the role she was applying for, and whether she was aware the position was 100% commission-based.

Read more: Jobseeker says she’s ‘pissed off’ after interview she prepared for lasted only 3-4 minutes with 4 questions