‘Love bombed too soon’: Singapore woman shares why she turned down three men on dating apps

SINGAPORE: It did not take long for a Singaporean woman to turn down three men she had met through dating platforms. After chatting with them over text, she noticed behaviours that set off “red flags” and realised that their values did not align with hers. 

Sharing her story on a local forum, she said the first man disrespected her boundaries and repeatedly brought up topics that made her feel uncomfortable. She did not go into detail about the conversations, but she revealed that at one point, he belittled her by saying, “You never think, do you?”

The second man, she said, moved too quickly for her liking. He had sent her a text saying, “I miss you,” even though they barely knew each other.

“Woah… love bombed too soon. We are definitely not at that stage to say ‘I miss you.’ I am aware sometimes we get the attachment via text without meeting the person, but this is definitely not it. Dodged a bullet,” she said.

The most off-putting encounter, however, was with the third man, who openly boasted about his family’s wealth. She claimed he told her he did not “need to work for the rest of his life” and that “earning a salary was not one of his goals,” because “money did not matter to him.”

As someone who worked day and night to achieve financial stability, the woman found the remark “a dealbreaker.”

“Well, being born with a silver spoon is not a dealbreaker. But being a grown man who PROUDLY flaunts his parents’ wealth as a reason he doesn’t need to work hard is a dealbreaker,” she expressed. 

“Dude is satisfied with what he earns—never asks and never knows how much—is fine. But that statement in quotation really shows how much different we are in life,” she added.

Five key traits women look for in a partner

While some men might say that women are too judgmental or have unrealistically high standards in dating, relationship experts disagree. According to them, women generally look for just these five traits in a man:

Sense of humour

Women are drawn to men who can bring them joy and laughter. They also tend to open up more quickly when they feel that their sense of humour is in sync with the man’s.

Dependable

More than financial wealth, women want someone they can depend on. They want a man who can not only take care of himself but also has the desire to move up in life and provide for his future family. 

Kindness

Kindness is an equally important trait. A woman usually takes note of how a man treats a waiter, a staff member, or even the elderly or disabled passengers on the train. 

Forward-thinking

Women appreciate men who think ahead and make real plans for the future. It is not just about having vague ideas but knowing what they want to achieve and actively working toward it. A man who is focused on growth and progress shows that he is responsible and capable of building a life that includes both himself and a future partner.

Honesty

Honesty is non-negotiable. Women generally dislike being misled, especially in the early stages of dating. They value men who are open, straightforward, and upfront about their intentions and feelings.

Read also: Singapore jobseeker exits online interview after being grilled about her family: ‘I told her I wasn’t interested in the job’