Local woman says her mum who abandoned her as a child came back just to demand ‘she work and show her bank account’

SINGAPORE: A local woman in her 20s recently shared on social media that her mum, who abandoned her as a child, has returned to her life only to demand that “she start working and show her her bank account.”

Writing on the r/SGexams subreddit on Sunday (Sep 14), the woman explained that it had been 18 years since she last saw her mum, who, as she recalled, never cared for her even when she was sick.

“I feel hurt, angry, and completely confused. How can someone come back after abandoning you for nearly two decades and act like this?” she asked.

“And now she’s telling me not to go to uni, like she has any right to control my life. It feels like she’s more interested in controlling me and taking from me than being a parent at all,” she added.

Feeling lost and deeply hurt by her mother’s actions, she asked the community:

“How do you deal with a parent who shows up only to make demands instead of caring about you? Has anyone else been through this?”

“Keep your important documents in a safe, and if possible, move away.”

In the discussion thread, many locals expressed their frustration with the mother’s behaviour and urged the woman to focus on her own life instead of listening to her demands. 

They stressed that she shouldn’t feel “obligated” to follow the instructions of someone who had abandoned her for 18 years and returned without so much as an apology or explanation.

“If she’s left you for 18 years ever since you were a kid and she hasn’t apologised or explained, and now she’s ordering you around, she probably doesn’t give two hoots about your well-being. Be upfront and clarify things with her,” one individual advised.

“Ignore what she says; studying at a university would be a better move. As much as it’s hurtful, I would probably not consider her a mother, considering she left you and didn’t care for you at all when you were younger,” said another.

“Go uni and stay in a hostel. Work part-time or take a loan from the bank. Try to save up as much as you can; don’t let her know you have a job. Create two accounts and only show her the one with very little money inside,” a third suggested.

“Don’t share your personal details or ID with her. Keep your important documents in a safe, and if possible, move away,” a fourth added, urging the woman to keep her guard up at all times.

In other news, a full-time F&B worker has shared her frustrations online after discovering she is paid less than her colleagues, despite working nearly 200 hours a month.

In a post on the r/SGMoney subreddit, she explained that while her job is generally not demanding and only experiences increased activity on weekends, she feels her compensation is unfair. Other full-time employees reportedly earn S$13 per hour, whereas she is paid S$11 per hour.

Read more: ‘I feel underpaid’— F&B worker says she puts in 200 hours of work per month but only gets paid S$11/hr