‘I’m poor and don’t go to Big 3 uni’: Woman says BF’s mum disapproves her because of her family background

SINGAPORE: A young woman has found herself stuck in a painful dilemma after discovering that her boyfriend’s mother strongly disapproves of her because “she’s poor and doesn’t go to a Big 3 university.”

Taking to the r/SGexams subreddit to seek advice, the woman shared that while her boyfriend comes from a well-to-do family and attended “elite name-brand” schools, her own upbringing was the complete opposite.

“My family is not even half of what their family is,” she wrote.

According to her, her boyfriend’s mother is highly traditional and places great importance on status, wealth, and educational pedigree. 

Before even meeting her, the woman said the mother had already formed negative opinions, largely centred around her family background and perceived social standing.

“His mom basically said a lot of mean things about me…and hates me,” the woman shared, adding that she did not want to go into specifics for fear of being recognised. However, she stressed that the remarks were deeply personal and hurtful.

Despite this, the woman said her boyfriend does not share his mother’s views. He reportedly does not care about her background and still wants to continue the relationship.

“We have been together for about a year now.. and he likes me and still wants to be with me,” she wrote. “I really like him as well.”

However, the situation has left her feeling conflicted and uncertain about what to do next, especially given that his mother appears unwilling to give her a chance at all.

“She formed all these opinions about me before even meeting me, and I do not think she wants to give me that chance either,” the woman said.

Ending her post, she asked local Reddit users, “I don’t know what to do from here. Anyone has been in a similar situation? Where do I go from here?”

“Either of you will be miserable if you decide to take it forward.”

In the discussion thread, many people told her to leave the relationship while it was still early, saying that issues with in-laws usually don’t get better with time.

One woman shared her own experience as a warning. “Run… you won’t win this battle,” she wrote. “You dated him for 1 year, but they raised him for 20 or 30 years. I’m a victim of the same battle. My ex-mother-in-law doesn’t like me and kept pointing out my flaws. We got divorced in the end.”

Another bluntly said, “This won’t work; your in-laws should welcome not only you but also your family. If they are giving you crap, imagine what it will be like with your family. Don’t fall for BS that it only matters how your BF feels about you and your family; reality is far from it. Either of you will be miserable if you decide to take it forward.”

A third remarked, “When we marry someone in the future, we don’t just marry the person. It includes his family unless he wants to cut off ties with them.”

Others, however, disagreed and told the woman that she should fight for the relationship if she’s confident her boyfriend will always stand by her.

One commenter added, “Make sure your BF is capable of paying for his own, rather than relying on his parents for a house, cars, etc. Then, it will be you two building a world of your own instead of him inheriting everything from his parents. The less he gets from his parents, the less power/influence his parents can exert over you two.”

In other news, a Singapore-based TikToker has unwittingly become the internet’s latest source of entertainment after an image of what appears to be a police report he lodged over an alleged TikTok “shadow ban” began circulating online.

The document, which was shared by Facebook user Liao JunQin in the Complaint Singapore Facebook group on Sunday (Dec 28), shows the man venting his frustration over his declining viewership on the platform.

Read more: TikToker files police report over alleged ‘shadow ban,’ draws mixed reactions from netizens