‘I’ll never live in S’pore again!’ — SG woman says, ‘I can’t keep up with S’porean demands, and I can’t chase the way SG pressures S’poreans’

SINGAPORE: “I’ll never live in Singapore again!” was the blunt declaration that sets the tone for a viral TikTok video by Lia @ahlianlia, a Singaporean young woman who says she’s an Asian solo traveller, now in Australia and decided she’s done trying to squeeze herself into what she calls an unforgiving system in Singapore.

“I don’t think I can live in Singapore again,” she says flatly, before explaining why the country no longer feels survivable for her. Lia describes Singapore as “an elitist and classist machine,” where “if you’re rich, academically elite, and play by the rules, you’ll be rewarded,” but “if you’re different without the money to fit in, you’ll fall between the cracks.” That machine, she says, “has left me with a ton of anxiety I have not recovered from.”

For Lia, this isn’t some abstract social commentary. This is her actual personal history, lived and internalised first-hand. She even traces the pressure of living in Singapore back to her childhood. “My parents emptied their pockets because they were so scared their kids were different and left behind,” she says, blaming how “Singaporean parents have inflated the tuition industry into this billion-dollar monster.”

From the age of three, her life was tightly scheduled: “Tuition, piano, violin, ballet, and swimming,” from “7 am to 8 pm every day!”, and mistakes were punished: “My music teachers used to pinch my ears and fingers super painfully whenever I played a note wrong,” and then, probably referring to her parents, she says, “I was caned almost every day since the age of six, which is really normal in Singapore.”

That emotional cost also followed her into adolescence. “When I was 11 and just received my PSLE results, I literally had a full-blown mental breakdown, hyperventilating in front of the entire class,” she recalls, adding, “No 11-year-old should be reacting to school results like that!”

Even success never felt enough. After solo-travelling to her 10th country while still in high school, her first thought was, “Oh, I should have done 20!? What the hell?!” expressing that, “Singaporean pressure has made me so anxious to the point that I can’t feel fulfilled with anything I do.”

For Lia, the problem isn’t a lack of effort or gratitude. It’s about fitting in. “I’m disabled; I’m diagnosed with autism and ADHD,” she explains. “My brain is just built differently, and I can’t race and chase the way Singapore pressures Singaporeans too,” she further expressed her dismay.

“And then there’s my mum,” Lia shares that her personal life pressures also stem from the  “nothing new Asian mother-daughter complicated relationships.” While she says she’s grateful her mother “financially supports me,” she also admits that being around her mum all the time, whom Lia says “harshly perpetuates all these Singaporean demands onto me just triggers me, and all the anxiety just comes rushing back,” so distance, Lia adds, helps. “I feel like our relationship is just better when we’re a continent away,” Lia said.

The video, posted under Lia’s own TikTok channel with the description “Autistic Asian solo traveller!” resonated with many, clocking 70,000 views and over 5,000 likes.

@ahlianlia

guess who just touched down in singapore 😀 #sgtiktok #singlish

♬ original sound – lia – lia

In the comments section, reactions ranged from empathy to pushback. One Singaporean wrote, “It’s true that we as Singaporeans are held to a ridiculous standard, but you can choose not to fall within that standard. Find a job that’s not as demanding and surround yourself with people who don’t pressure you. Many of us do not have the 5 Cs, go to Uni, and earn big bucks. Still, we are happy and living life to the best of our ability,” arguing that happiness is possible outside the traditional markers of success in Singapore.

Another took a more generational view: “Some of us millennials have no choice but to stay in Singapore. We’re waiting for all the boomers to ‘leave’ and hoping Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and future generations make Singapore better for us REAL SINGAPOREANS!”

Despite everything, Lia is careful not to turn her story into a blanket condemnation of Singapore and Singaporeans. “I will always be proud to call myself Singaporean,” she declared, listing all the things she still cherishes, such as clean toilets, good Asian food, and safety, among others.

For Lia, leaving Singapore isn’t a complete rejection of the Little Red Dot. It’s for her own complete self-preservation from the Little Red Dot. As she says with her own words, “It doesn’t mean that Singapore can’t be a great place to live; it is by many standards… but it’s just not for me anymore… I can’t see myself living in Singapore again.”

Read related: ‘I’m done with S’pore! I wanna move to M’sia…’ — S’porean man earning S$100K/year feels ‘jaded with life in SG; KL feels sweet place to be’