‘I never cared if my boyfriend had a car until now’: Woman says friends’ social media posts have left her questioning her relationship

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman has admitted that she has started questioning her relationship after seeing countless social media posts of her friends being driven around by their boyfriends.

Posting on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, the woman, who is in her late 20s, shared that her boyfriend does not own a car, something that genuinely never mattered to her when they first got together.

“Having a car or no car was not important to me when I first met him. He also doesn’t earn much as well as a degree grad. I myself as a diploma grad earn slightly less compared to him,” she wrote.

For the longest time, she said she was happy and perfectly content. But somewhere along the way, endless social media posts from friends and colleagues showing their boyfriends behind the wheel slowly planted seeds of doubt.

Whether it was short Instagram reels of road trips, late-night drives, or the simple act of being picked up after work, she found herself wondering why something she had never cared about was suddenly bothering her.

“They like to post a video or short reel of their boyfriend driving them. Before y’all say anything, yes I do know comparison kills happiness. But somehow after seeing all these on social media, I am not sure how I feel now and why I feel this way.” 

“I did not have such a feeling before about whether my boyfriend drives or not; I was truly happy, but now I am not so sure.”

She added that even if her boyfriend could afford a car, he probably would not be driving anyway.

After being together for the past one and a half years, she has come to believe that driving simply is not one of his strengths.

According to her, he is “the clumsy type and not sharp in reactions,” so she feels it would be unsafe for him to learn to drive.

Seeking perspectives, she asked fellow Singaporeans: “Is it true that SG girls would mostly choose a guy with a car as their dating partner?”

“People only show the best part of their lives on social media”

Dozens of Reddit users weighed in after the post was published on Sunday (Jul 19), and many felt the woman was letting social media get into her head.

Several said that if a few Instagram reels were enough to make her question an otherwise happy relationship, then the issue was bigger than whether her boyfriend owned a car.

“This simply means you don’t love him as much as you think,” one told her.

Another said, “If my partner feels that owning a car is [an] important status, then I will ask her to marry the car instead. I do own a car and bike, but I see it as a transportation tools. I’m perfectly fine with taking public transport.”

A third added, “First, it starts with a car; further down the road it’s going to be the house, the holidays, and the hobbies they can afford. If you aspire to keep up with the Joneses, go study and work harder to afford it or do your boyfriend a favour and break it off to look for someone richer that you can flex on social media.”

Meanwhile, a few others gently reminded her that while owning a car is nice to have, it’s hardly a necessity in Singapore.

One user explained, “Having a car is more convenient and offers privacy, especially if you have a family, eg, kids and elderly, but it’s not a must-have; there are far less Singaporean car owners than you’d imagine. Once you’ve settled down, you can be the driver, and he can share the cost of maintaining the car.” 

“People only show the best part of their lives on social media, and the worst parts exposed by others; there are boyfriends and husbands who are unfaithful to their partners even if they own a car.”

In other news, conversations regarding the ‘Maintenance of  Parents Act’ have re-emerged online, following a frustrated son’s post on Reddit where he expressed his reluctance to “care for” or “support” his 50-year-old father, who reportedly never provided any form of support to the family.

In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, the son explained that his father does not work, and every attempt to coax him into finding a job has failed.

Read more: Redditor says he has ‘very little love’ for absentee father, asks about Maintenance of Parents Act