‘I feel depressed every day’: 40 yo mum admits she’s miserable at work but can’t quit because of the pay

SINGAPORE: How far would a parent go to support their family? For one 40-year-old mother of two in Singapore, it means enduring a job that’s draining her mentally, just to keep the bills paid. Despite years of burnout, stress, and difficult colleagues, she admitted she’s still “hanging on for the money.”

Posting on the r/singaporejobs forum on Tuesday (Nov 11), she shared that her career had taken a downward turn over the past one and a half years. During this time, she switched jobs twice—and in both, she found herself equally unhappy.

Her previous role was a leadership position, but she said she only lasted a year before calling it quits due to what she described as “toxic team dynamics.” Luckily, she managed to secure another job while serving her notice period, this time leading a bigger team.

Unfortunately, the new job came with its own set of headaches. While the environment wasn’t toxic, she said her team was “dysfunctional, unmotivated, and full of legacy issues.”

“It’s been a tough six months trying to assimilate and turn the ship around,” she wrote. “I feel more and more depressed every day. I dread going to work, but the pay is decent. I’m trying to hang on, but some days it gets so bad I feel like I’m one step away from a mental breakdown.”

She confessed that she often fantasises about quitting and taking a break, but the uncertainty of when she’ll land her next job keeps her from doing it. “I am so lost and do not know what to do to ever feel better. I want to leave fast and cut my losses short, but the job market is quiet now,” she wrote, adding that she’s also worried about how her résumé will look after back-to-back short stints.

“I hope you can hang in there and find something better soon!”

In the comments, many encouraged her to stay in her job, with one commenting, “Better to be employed than unemployed, as you have two kids. Unless your hubby would be able to take it on. Even if there are jobs, they are mostly positions that many do not want to take, or mainly at problematic companies with a high turnover rate. Unfortunately.”

Another shared their own experience, writing, “I left a high-paying job three months ago due to burnout and have been struggling with job applications, though it might also be the year-end slowdown. I’m younger and have no liabilities, so I was willing to take the risk since I have enough savings. I may not have tangible advice, but I hope you can hang in there and find something better soon!”

Meanwhile, a third offered some advice on handling work stress: “You take too much emotion to work; either you are too competitive or take too much pride. If your team is unproductive or dysfunctional, it’s not your fault. Just do what you can to improve yourself and guide them, and let the rest take its course. You need to detach yourself from their performance to feel better.”

In other news, a heartbroken woman took to Reddit to share how her five-year relationship ended in devastation after her boyfriend, who had long struggled with gambling and risky financial behaviour, broke up with her because he believed he could never give her a stable future.

In a post on the r/SGMoney subreddit on Monday (Nov 10), she revealed that even before their relationship began, her boyfriend had already accumulated a debt of around S$20,000 from betting on football matches.

Read more: Woman says BF with S$220k gambling losses broke up with her, believing he could not give her a good future