‘I am not costing the family anything’: Man asks if he was wrong to cut parents’ allowance after moving out

SINGAPORE: A local man has taken to Reddit’s Ask Singapore forum to ask whether he was wrong to reduce the allowance he gives his parents after moving out of the family home.

For context, he explained that while living under their roof, he had been responsible for nearly all household expenses. “I paid rent, food, and other expenses, and I wasn’t being calculative—but I gave every cent I could afford,” he said.

“And the allowance I had been paying was more than enough to cover the full market rent for a room (not just half) and all other expenses and food. I’m talking about handing over two-thirds of my take-home pay.”

Upon moving out, however, he decided to cut their allowance, realising he could not afford to rent a room while giving them such a large portion of his salary. He also felt it was unnecessary, since he was not “costing the family anything.”

Moreover, the man mentioned that he moved out of the family home primarily because he needed a private space to focus on his work.

“I shared an HDB bedroom with my brother, and I was lucky enough to be offered flexible working arrangements, allowing me to work from home up to two days a week on average,” he said.

“That’s when I decided to move out. Sharing a small HDB room with another working adult is hard enough, and when you add work-from-home into the mix, it becomes ridiculous.”

He continued, “While working from the office full-time is possible, I am also expected to do overtime, whether from the office or home. Who wants to be the only one stuck in the office, just because there’s no suitable place to work from home?”

“My parents did suggest using a double-decker bed so that desks can be put on the other side of the room. But come on lah, two fully grown working adults sharing the same bedroom from which to WFH?”

The man said that his mother, in particular, is now “mad” at him for reducing their monthly allowance.

“Make it a symbolic S$200 and be done with it.”

The post has since struck a chord with other users online, sparking a lively debate over whether the man’s decision was fair or unreasonable.

One sided with the man, saying, “Why do you even need to pay if you are no longer living with them? They survived before you gave them allowance, so they will survive now.”

Another pointed out that the amount he was contributing was already far beyond reasonable. “2/3 of your take-home pay is just nuts,” they said. “Make it a symbolic S$200 and be done with it.”

A third echoed this frustration, saying, “Your mother is just treating you like a cash cow at this point. I won’t be surprised if next time, she also expects allowance from your partner.”

Others, meanwhile, tried to explain the parents’ perspective. 

One commenter wrote, “This is your parents’ perspective.. You took out the overall income of the family and gave it to someone else for your personal freedom. They will brand you as selfish.”

“This is coming from personal experience. Even though I still contribute (more) to my family while staying alone, they still think that what I pay outside should be channelled to them.”

A third expanded on this, writing, “It’s somewhat an economic betrayal because you’re paying rent to some outsider instead of benefitting the household.”

In other news, a local employee has turned to Reddit to voice her frustration after being dismissed just three weeks into a new job, claiming she was fired without warning and given unrealistic expectations from the outset.

Posting on the r/askSingapore subreddit, she wrote that her manager told her she was “too slow” and that her content creation work did not meet the company’s standards. However, she stressed that at no point before her dismissal was she informed that her pace or performance was an issue.

Read more: ‘They trained me for only 4 days’: Local employee claims she was unfairly fired after three weeks on the job