“Hold on to your job” – S$7.5k earning Singaporean advised against going for lower paying job to help care for dementia-ridden dad

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean tech professional recently sought advice online regarding a challenging dilemma of balancing a demanding career with the responsibilities of caring for a dementia-riddden father.

Earning around S$7,500 per month in a tech firm, she took to social media seeking advice on whether to consider a lower paying job to help care for her dementia-ridden dad, achieve a better work-life balance, and improve her mental health.

She shared, “My father has dementia, I need to take care of him, recently his condition has worsened. I tried to discuss with my boss if it is possible to do some testing role, lower workload, he said I am already a team lead, and I need to take up more responsibility.”

“I feel I cannot handle the heavy workload, as it is getting more and more unpredictable, a lot of meetings, as my company is a tech consultancy company. If I request to roll off from my project, they might push me to do another project, which is located far from my house. I am really tired to talk to the HR,” she added.

In response to her plea for advice, fellow Singaporeans online shared their own experiences and opinions along with advising OP to “not take a pay cut as dementia can be expensive.”

One user recounted the challenges of caring for a dementia-affected grandmother, sharing the toll it takes on families while emphasising the importance of resources and support in managing such conditions. “Hold on to the job, and prepare for higher expenses,” he advised.

He also shared, “Meds may delay the worsening of the condition but the journey will get worse. It’s not something you can pull off with a one man show. Hold the job, get help for now. Only with resources, can you better plan what is a better care arrangement in the years to come.”

Others echoed similar sentiments, cautioning against opting for a lower-paying job solely for the promise of better work-life balance. “Lower paying job doesn’t mean there’ll be work-life balance,” one user pointed out, highlighting the misconception that a “pay and workload are not always related.”

Other commenters suggested exploring options like daycare centres for dementia patients as a means to both provide care and alleviate some of the burden. “Perhaps, you may consider sending your father to the day care centre in the day and pick him up in the evening,” one noted.

The majority agreed that S$7,500 for a tech lead is low, despite differing opinions on how to handle the situation.

One user suggested exploring alternative career paths within tech or negotiating with the current employer for a more sustainable workload. “You can switch to a job that pays better or negotiate with your current company and use the difference to hire professional help,” the user recommended. /TISG

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