Helper says she was left humiliated by stranger who called her employer to complain about the way she cared for child

SINGAPORE: A post by a foreign domestic helper detailing how she was left humiliated by a stranger in public has raised questions about how helpers are treated in public and whether they are given the dignity they deserve.

In a Facebook post posted on the Complaint Singapore page this week, the Myanmar national, who has worked in Singapore as a childcare helper for nearly four years, described an incident that left her feeling “very embarrassed and upset.”

The helper shared that the incident took place recently after she had picked up the four-year-old boy under her care from school. The pair stopped by a playground, as they often do. She wrote, “He is very attached to me and always wants me to stay very close to him. However, his parents want him to be an independent boy, and they have told me not to over-care for him.

“For example, if he falls down, I should let him stand up by himself. If he cries, I should let him cry until he calms down, and only after that, I should explain to him that crying is not the solution and that he should learn from the experience.”

Following these instructions, the helper said she encouraged the boy to play on his own and interact with other children while she watched from a short distance, but the child began crying, and despite her attempts to reassure him, he became more upset. She then allowed him time to calm down before hugging him and explaining that the goal was to help him grow into an independent and resilient child.

The helper shared, “At that time, there were many parents and helpers at the playground. One woman came to us and asked the boy in Chinese why he was crying. The boy told her honestly that he was crying because I didn’t stay with him.”

What happened next surprised the helper. The woman asked the boy for his mother’s phone number, which he was able to provide from memory. The helper said she did not understand why the number was being requested at the time.

The woman then called the child’s mother to complain about the helper’s conduct, alleging that she was not taking proper care of the child.

The helper said, “When I tried to explain the situation, she pointed at my face and shouted, ‘You stop! You stop!’ in front of many people and did not let me speak.

“I felt very embarrassed and upset, so I told her, ‘You have no right to treat me like this. I am not your helper.’ She replied, ‘I have the right. You be nice to children.’”

She added, “I did not scold or mistreat the child. I was only following the rules given by my employer.”

While her employer was understanding when informed of the incident and reassured her that she trusted her caregiving, the encounter has left the helper unsettled.

Questioning whether helpers are expected to accept such public reprimands and why some people may treat them poorly, she asked, “Are helpers supposed to accept this kind of treatment? Why do some people treat helpers badly? If something like this happens again, how should I protect myself? Do I have any legal protection in Singapore?”

The post has since drawn attention online, with netizens expressing support for the helper.

Some said the employer should demand that the woman apologise to their helper, while others suggested that the helper should ignore such busybodies since the surveillance cameras islandwide can capture what really happened.

One commenter said, “Sometimes, some people think they own the whole world. They can’t settle their problems, so disturb others. As long your employers do know and understand you, don’t bother about this.