‘Having 2 HDBs is important’: SG couple in their 50s at odds over whose HDB has to go if they tie the knot

SINGAPORE: A couple’s plans to tie the knot have hit a stumbling block after they found themselves at odds over whose HDB flat would have to be given up.

On Saturday (Jul 4), the man shared his story anonymously in the ‘Complaint Singapore’ Facebook group. He explained that he and his girlfriend, both in their early 50s, each own a four-room HDB flat from their previous marriages.

He lives in Clementi, while she owns a flat in Redhill. They also each have children from their previous marriages, making them a blended family with five children altogether.

According to the man, he is perfectly happy with their current arrangement. 

His girlfriend, however, wants to get married and is unwilling to continue the relationship without making it official.

“I’m happy like this, but my girlfriend will only be only satisfied if we get married, but that means we need to dispose one of our HDB.”

Under HDB rules, a married couple is regarded as a single household, or family nucleus, and is generally allowed to own only one HDB flat at any one time.

The problem is her

The man believes keeping both flats is the more practical option.

He pointed out that having two homes gives the blended family more space and flexibility. 

“I told her marriage is paper only; having 2 HDBs is important. Because how to accommodate our combined 5 children in only 1 HDB?” he wrote.

“She’s still angry at me and demand I need to give her what she wants. I don’t want to kena forced into marriage like this. The problem is her.”

“Don’t sell your HDB, give it to your kids”

In the comments, many users agreed that the couple should prioritise keeping both HDB flats over getting married.

One pointed out that squeezing a blended family with five children into a single four-room flat was hardly realistic.

“It seems like it is quite impossible to stay together with 5 children from different marriages… when they grow older, they all want to have their own room… how to get a house with 6 rooms?” they wrote. 

“And what if there is a quarrel between your children and her children? You know, even blood siblings have serious arguments, what more when they are of different blood… better to keep it this way… there is space for everyone… like this everyone will be happier…”

Another commenter urged the man to think about his children’s future.

“Don’t sell your HDB, give it to your kids. They are more important because they are blood. Think about your kids’ future. You and your girlfriend haven’t even lived together, but she’s already bossy then what more in the future.” 

“Find another woman who will understand you more than your own kin and also think the future of your kids, not just what she wants.”

A third warned the man not to overlook the risks of giving up his home.

“Just remember, if you gave up your HDB and anything happens between you and your girlfriend, you will be homeless.”

A few others suggested a compromise. Rather than arguing over which HDB flat to keep, they proposed that the couple sell both properties and buy a larger landed home together.

One wrote, “Both sell and then buy a landed. You can find a bigger one to accommodate all kids and still have your own private time. No need to fight. There’s beauty in owning something together and kinda lock in commitment as well. Fair to both.”

In other news, a frustrated son has claimed that his 60-year-old mother gambled away her retirement savings and is now treating him and his siblings as her personal retirement fund.

In a post on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Friday (June 26), he said his mother had made multiple trips to Resorts World and Genting over the years, allegedly losing a few hundred thousand dollars of her savings.

Read more: Man claims his mum gambled away retirement fund and now expects children to pay for everything: ‘She squeezes us dry’