SINGAPORE: A man new to Singapore’s dating scene recently shared on Reddit he was “shocked” by how some women treat first dates like formal interviews.
On the r/sgdatingscene forum, he recounted that on his very first date, the woman across from him immediately started asking a string of probing questions about his life and background, with barely any small talk to ease into the conversation.
Apparently, she even asked straight away about his “finances” and his family’s financial situation, which caught him completely off guard.
By the end of the date, the verdict appeared to be in.
The man wrote that he had effectively “failed the interview,” as he could tell he was not what the woman was looking for.
Turning to other users for their opinions, he asked, “For those who have gone on dates, have you met people who date based on financial status?”
“I am able to understand that people have the right to look for what they want, and this has been a thing since olden days, where people would tend to want to be with someone more financially well-to-do.”
“Even if that person did not raise financial questions now, they will ask as time passes, because marriage requires communication on financial [matters]. May I know, is it a norm that people ask these questions?”
“I think this is a very Asian thing.”
As grim as this all sounds, several Redditors said it’s just the reality of dating in Singapore nowadays.
One user shared that his date once quizzed him on “how many suits he owned,” “which brands they were,” and even whether his salary could cover an HDB flat. On top of that, she reportedly asked “why he doesn’t drive anymore” and told him to “stop wearing Uniqlo pants.”
Another commented, “Not a surprise. Sinkie women will NEVER tell you they are materialistic or gold diggers but will ask 1001 questions related to money and finances.”
Others, however, were more open, saying that questions like these should be asked more often on dates, since financial compatibility is an important part of a relationship.
One shared, “I have been on dates that are exactly like this, just interviews about the heck out of my background & financial capabilities. I don’t find it surprising though; people do want to have financially secure lives, and I feel that it helps tremendously to establish the reality of the relationship.”
Another explained, “After you’ve reached your 30s, and if you’re serious in settling down. I personally feel it’s okay to ask each other’s annual income. Especially when there are so many independent and career-minded women, they might not want to date under them. Same for men, they might prefer women that’s drawing a decent income so they don’t have to provide much?”
A fourth remarked, “I think this is a very Asian thing. Like in Korea or Japan, the dating apps have a salary category. In Singapore, we mostly use global apps so no such thing but people tend to ask during the meetups if it’s not very clear they can afford certain lifestyles ppl are looking for.”
In other news, an employer has called on government authorities to implement stronger protections for households after her helper abruptly stopped responding and did not return to work following an approved urgent leave.
The woman, who shared her experience in the Facebook group ‘Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper’ on Tuesday (Jan 6), said her helper had only been employed for three months when she requested to return to her home country.
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