After a number of posts from foreign domestic workers asking for help with problems they faced with their employers, the tables have now been turned, and an employer took to social media asking for advice on her problematic full-time maid.

In a throwaway account, probably to maintain anonymity, one Jan Tan wrote to popular Facebook group FDW in Singapore (working conditions forum) on Tuesday (May 31).

In her post, Ms Tan shared that the helper contacted her through Facebook “urging me to take care (of her) after her employer gives her release papers. In between she sought advice from me on whether I am ok to bring her back from her home country if the employer sends her back”.

The maid told Ms Tan that her employer was upset with her, which is why she wanted to leave. Three months later, the maid’s employer sent her to an agency. Ms Tan said that her agency was asking for a $4,000 service fee, without offering to provide a replacement “which is more than any other agency was asking during covid times”.

The helper cried over the phone to Ms Tan, and they eventually gave in and brought her back.

Ms Tan wrote that within a few days of them bringing the helper back, she would come up with excuses such as ‘I get a feeling you are not happy with my work, send me back home’ or ‘I am unable to take care of your child, so [I] want to go’.

Ms Tan wrote that she tried to convince the helper to stay and adjust to the work. Evaluating her work, Ms Tan added that the helper was independent, but that she would not communicate. Instead of talking, the helper would send messages via WhatsApp Messenger and be unhappy if the family complains about anything.

One day, Ms Tan receives a call from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM): “imagine my confusion when MOM officer said your helper is here when I thought she is in the same house as me in her room!”

Without her employers knowing, the maid had gone to the MOM and then back to her agency. Speaking to her employers, she then said she would come back to the house if they were not upset with her for going to “MOM like this”.

Though Ms Tan wanted to transfer the helper out, the helper apologised and said she still wanted to work with the family. Two months later, claiming that her mother had passed, the helper asked to go back home. She never cried about her mother, wrote Ms Tan, adding that she only seemed worried about her son. The maid was asked to wait until a replacement was found for her.

“So one fine day she went missing, won[‘]t pick calls, then next day came back home on Sun evening and wanted to get her luggage. I somehow convinced her to stay back so I can send her home. Meanwhile, noticed some of my valuables (less than 2000$) missing from my usual place in my room which has restricted entry”, Ms Tan wrote.

She added that the helper also took some cash in advance from her, which the helper assumed she would not need to return, as she asked for her full salary at month end as well.

While speaking to her maid, Ms Tan wrote that “at one point she was crying hysterically about her son being alone, and then in 10 mins time she was normal and trying to negotiate with me about she giving me some money to transfer her to an agency so she can work ‘freely'”.

Ms Tan added that she believed the maid’s plan was to be able to live outside of her employer’s house, enabling her to moonlight and work part-time. She added that the helper’s clothes, accessories, multiple shoes, and bags surpassed her own, “and she has more Shopee and other online deliveries coming in for her than I can order for my entire household-this definitely cannot be from the 500+$ salary”.

Ms Tan also added that the helper had at least four SIM cards that she knew of.

Asking for help as to what to do, Ms Tan wanted to know how to go about blacklisting the helper and how to cancel her work permit. She also asked other members of the group for any advice they could give her.

Those who commented on Ms Tan’s post asked for more information, such as how Ms Tan knew the helper stole her items.

Here’s what they said, as well as Ms Tan’s response: