SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media to express her concerns after observing that her helper frequently interacted with her children, despite being hired solely for household chores.
Posting in the ‘MDW in Singapore’ group on Friday (Mar 28), she shared that when the helper first joined their household, she was given a clear list of duties, specifying that it “essentially only covered cooking and cleaning.”
“We were clear from the beginning that we do not need child minding help,” she said. “(But) recently, I’ve found that our helper often tries to sit with our kids to play with them, even during morning rush hour when we’re all in the rush to get out, and she should be helping us with other things instead. I’m an introvert, so I find it to be quite an intrusion into my family life to find her constantly trying to insert herself.”
Seeking advice from the community, she asked, “Is this me being mean, or should I actually speak with my helper about giving us space? Thanks, everyone.”
“Just let her know exactly what you want her to do in the morning.”
Many people shared their thoughts in the comments section. Some mentioned that they had experienced similar situations with their helpers and later realized that the helpers weren’t intentionally crossing boundaries but were simply following routines from previous jobs where childcare was one of their responsibilities.
One netizen wrote, “I told my helper the same right from the start. She doesn’t need to do childminding, only housework and cooking, but because of her past experience, the employer wants her to take care of the child (the) whole day. She thought this is (what) most Singapore employers want a helper to do.”
Others pointed out that the helper might simply be trying to be helpful. “I do feel that this is a minor issue, and she means no harm. Probably she feels that she’s helping to keep them entertained, so you and your husband can focus on the actual task,” one said.
Another added, “It’s obvious she loves children, and your kids probably want her to play with them.”
Some also advised the employer to address the matter through open communication and gently set clear boundaries.
One netizen said, “Please talk to her nicely, ma’am, and help her understand what she needs to do, especially since she’s new. Maybe she just wants to be close to the children, or maybe she’s still shy to ask you what she needs to do. I’m also a helper who has been working for my employer for 9 years. Especially when you hire a helper, they really become part of your family because you’re with them in the house every day.”
Another commented, “I think it will help if you approach it in a less harsher way for a start. Maybe just let her know exactly what you want her to do in the morning. Then, for other times of the day, if you don’t want her to be involved in playing with the kids, assign her other tasks.”
However, some felt that a firmer approach was necessary. One netizen explained, “I would suggest that you talk to your helper again. Either she doesn’t understand your house rule or didn’t take you seriously when you said you don’t need child minding help, so it’s best to remind her again, and this time, be more firm.
If she still doesn’t listen, then you can consider letting her go. To keep someone who doesn’t respect house rules and boundaries will only make you stressed and unhappy.”
Helping your domestic helper stay on track
If your helper still seems unsure about her tasks even after you’ve explained them, Fair Employment Agency Limited suggests giving her a simple daily schedule or checklist. Writing things down can make it easier for her to stay on track and understand what needs to be done throughout the day. It also helps her feel more confident in her role and reduces the need for constant reminders.
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)