Domestic helper asks why some employers ‘look down’ on maids despite their role in the family

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper has questioned why some employers continue to “look down” on helpers despite the important role they play in their households.

Posting in the Complaint Singapore Facebook group on Tuesday (July 28), she wrote, “I just want to ask employers, why do some of you look down on us helpers? We also play a huge role in your family. We take care of your children, help manage your home, and make your daily lives much easier.”

Given everything helpers do behind the scenes, she said she could not understand why some are still treated as though they are easily replaceable or their work means very little.

“Without us, life would likely be far more stressful and demanding. Yet when we make a mistake, some of you treat us as if we’ve never done anything good for your family. We are human too. We make mistakes, just like everyone else.”

She also made it clear that she was not painting all employers with the same brush. According to her, many employers are kind, respectful, and genuinely value the support their helpers provide.

Still, she said there are far too many stories of helpers being spoken to disrespectfully or blamed for every little thing, even after years of loyal service.

“If you’ve had many helpers and none of them ever seem to be ‘good enough,’ maybe it’s time to ask yourself if the problem isn’t always the helpers. Maybe it’s you.”

“Both sides need to respect each other”

In the comments, many people pushed back, saying there are valid reasons why some employers become wary or strict.

One shared, “We don’t look down on helpers. But they still start stealing from me and destroying my property unapologetically. I am really perplexed about how to treat such a helper.”

“My current helper has a good attitude. That is why I pay her a high salary and let her go back to her home country every year with an extra few hundred dollars. I guess employers will not look down on helpers if they have a good attitude and do whatever duties well.”

Another argued that being scolded at work is something many employees experience too.

“Our bosses also speak to us this way when we make mistakes at work. Some bosses even curse and swear at work. This is quite normal for a company with Asian bosses. We call it a toxic workplace. Guess it’s part of the working culture.”

A third explained, “In my opinion, there are good and bad employers, as there are good and bad employees. There’s no exact explanation why some of them look down on domestic helpers, and the same goes for you.”

“You cannot explain why some maids are not hardworking and take advantage of the kindness of some employers. But my advice is for both sides to respect each other and for domestic helpers to not take kindness for weakness; instead, appreciate the kindness of the employer.”

In other news, a Singapore woman took to Reddit to ask if she’s right to feel uneasy after realising her boyfriend’s social circle is made up almost entirely of women, including someone he once had a crush on. 

In her post, she explained that most of his friends are women after he became part of his university best friend’s social circle. The group includes his female best friend, his former crush, and several other female friends.

Read more: SG woman uneasy as BF continues partying with his all-female friend group: ‘He once had a thing for one of them’