Soon-to-be-divorced couple at odds over BTO: Husband pushes for 60/40 split, citing wife’s unfulfilled duties

SINGAPORE: A soon-to-be-divorced couple are at odds over how to divide their BTO flat, with the husband pushing for a 60/40 split in his favour because he believes his wife failed to fulfil her responsibilities during their marriage.

The woman, however, feels the arrangement overlooks the non-financial contributions she made to their household, including doing the chores, cooking, and paying the utilities.

On Wednesday (Aug 26), she took to Reddit’s r/asksg forum to seek advice from fellow Singaporeans, asking how she could secure what she considered a fair share of the flat.

“Has anyone been through a divorce with an unfinished BTO MOP and an unreasonable ex?” she asked. “How do I actually push for a fair share when he refuses to see anything beyond his monthly CPF statements and ‘responsibilities’?”

“We have a BTO together with about 1.5 years left before MOP. I’ve actually moved out already because living with him became sickening; he picks on literally everything I do.”

The woman explained that she and her husband had been together for 10 years and married for three. They have no children, and both are 31 and 26, respectively.

The couple are now trying to go through a simplified divorce to keep their legal costs down, but their disagreement over the flat has become a major stumbling block.

Husband wants 60% share

According to the woman, her husband believes he deserves 60% of the flat because he has been contributing more through his CPF each month.

He also allegedly claimed that she had failed to “fulfil any responsibilities” during their marriage.

The woman found this particularly unfair, arguing that she had contributed to the household in other ways.

She said she worked full-time while also doing household chores, cooking after a full day at work, and paying the utilities.

“He acts like I’m just milking his money, even though I work full-time, pay for all my own stuff, and have never taken a single cent from him.”

“He also threw in some random complaint that my family only sees him as ‘help’ when needed, which isn’t even true.”

The woman, however, dismissed the allegation as untrue and questioned why such grievances should factor into the division of their home.

She proposes a 54/46 split

Rather than insisting on an equal division, the woman said she had proposed a 54/46 split, which she felt would better reflect both parties’ contributions.

She argued that the CPF money her husband had used to pay for the flat would ultimately be returned to his CPF account when the property is sold, while her contributions to the household would not be reflected in the same way.

“The CPF he used just goes right back into his own CPF account when the house is sold,” she said, adding, “Plus, non-financial contributions like keeping the house running matter.”

“I still pay for my share of the monthly HDB through CPF and the whole utilities bill even though I’m not staying there. But he completely invalidates all of that and just shuts down the conversation whenever I bring up a simplified divorce.”

With neither side willing to budge, the couple appear to have reached an impasse over a flat they bought together while still married.

‘Get a family lawyer’

In the comments, many Redditors urged the woman to seek professional legal advice rather than trying to settle the dispute with her husband on her own.

One commenter advised her to gather evidence of her financial contributions and consult a lawyer.

“Seek actual legal advice and provide proof of the transactions that you paid for. Actually, if you are willing, just split 50/50. Be thankful you don’t have children with this pathetic excuse of a man and slam the door shut on him. Move on with your life. Girl, you are only 26, and you deserve so much better!”

Another told her, “Get a family lawyer… they deal with this day in and day out. They don’t charge by minutes and will act in your best interest.”

Meanwhile, a few others expressed sympathy over the breakdown of the couple’s decade-long relationship.

One user wrote, “10 years of relationship just to go down the drain. Man, that is really unfortunate. Not saying you should stay. Your husband sounds like a pain to be with. On the bright side, you are still 26 and still have time to have a new mate for life and maybe have children. Wish you all the best for your life.”

In other news, a woman in Singapore recently faced backlash on Reddit after sharing that she found herself less attracted to a man she had gone on two dates with because they both paid for their meals, which made their dynamic feel “pretty equal” to her.

Taking to the r/sgdatingscene subreddit on Monday (Aug 10), the woman in her 20s said the man initially seemed like “a pretty good option” on paper. He was “kind, respectful, and emotionally available,” she said.

Read more: ‘It feels too equal’: Singapore woman says 50/50 dating made her less attracted to man after 2 dates