‘The centre of attention’: Netizens share experience on being an only child

SINGAPORE: Growing up as an only child has its own fair share of joys, challenges, and lessons. Every child has a different story to share, and it is truly shaped by how their family raised them, the experiences that they encountered, and their perspectives about living this life. 

On Reddit, a netizen openly shared that she is struggling to conceive a second child, and she is making peace with the possibility that her kid will grow up as an only child. She shared that she was also an only child growing up, and even though she did not feel the absence of a sibling, she felt that it would be nice for her child to have one to share life’s struggles with.

“After all, friends drift apart, and everyone becomes focused on their own families eventually,” the netizen claimed. 

With this, she is looking for experiences as to how other parents ensure that their child does not feel alone while growing up. 

The netizen added: “Also, to those of you here who were the only child- how did you feel over the years growing up? Did you ever feel the absence of not having a sibling? Do you think it has affected you in any way?” 

This has sparked an interesting discussion in the comments section. For some, having siblings does not necessarily mean that they always got each other’s backs. 

One commenter admitted: “More often than not, people don’t have particularly close relationships with their siblings. In fact, siblings can sometimes see each other as direct competition for attention, resources and even inheritance as they grow up.” 

Some shared their experiences as an only child, stating that they needed to learn how to be independent early, and that their parents are overprotective and could have trust issues. 

“I’m a single child, and I HATED it. I really wished I had siblings. Thankfully, I grew up with a cousin close to my age; she’s almost like a sister. I have two younger cousins I am close to as well. Every birthday, I prayed for a sibling. It was that bad and lonely. I also developed a skill to cope, which is to talk to myself and create characters in my head. Luckily for me, I manage to pull this off in adult life (turn into a valuable skillset) instead of weirding people out,” another netizen remarked. 

This is contrary to another comment, which declared that he/she loves being an online child because everything is his/hers, and that he/she is the centre of attention. 

“I have had my own room since childhood; I don’t need to be forced to share. I like having my own space, and I am an extrovert so my energy comes from multiple hobbies and different groups of friends,” the comment further added. 

From another perspective, a fellow mother also shared that she just gave birth to her second child, and now she is struggling with the anxiety and worry of how to manage living with two children. 

“It honestly can go both ways so just be content with what you have and don’t waste your time thinking about the What Ifs,” a comment concluded. 

At the end of the day, having or not having siblings does not determine whether a child will feel they are loved or less alone. What’s important is for parents to nurture the environment that they would grow up in, to be present in their every day lives, and open opportunities for them to become better persons in the years to come.