SINGAPORE: Calling off a wedding is never just about cancelling the venue. In Singapore, it can also mean kissing goodbye to a BTO you’ve waited years for, writing off hefty wedding deposits, and watching the future you’d mapped out unravel before your eyes.
That’s the painful crossroads one man says he now finds himself at after discovering that the woman he’d spent seven years with had allegedly cheated on him “not once, not twice, but multiple times.”
Writing on Reddit’s r/askSingapore forum, the man explained he and his fiancée had weathered their fair share of ups and downs over the years, but like most long-term couples, he genuinely believed they’d make it to the finish line.
Their wedding was booked for December, their BTO flat is due to be completed next year, and by March they had already started buying items for the big day.
An affair with her work partner
He didn’t foresee, however, that his fiancée had not been satisfied with their relationship. In April, she had told him she was having “second thoughts” about their relationship. By May, she had decided she wanted to end things altogether.
“I agreed in the heat of the moment, but soon realised I still loved her and wanted to fight for us. She wasn’t willing to get back together but said she was “open to it,” so I spent the next few weeks trying to win her back.”
“One day while I was staying over, a package arrived. Something felt off, and I discovered it was a morning-after pill.”
When he confronted her, she first claimed it was simply supplements. Only after further questioning did she admit she had been sleeping with a colleague, a married man with two children, one of whom was still a newborn.
The man said he asked her to cut all contact with the colleague, and she reluctantly agreed. But weeks later, he discovered she had simply renamed the man’s contact to “LOVE,” muted and archived their conversations, and carried on messaging and meeting him anyway.
This was also the time when he discovered the affair had actually started back in February, when they were still together and planning their wedding.
“That was the moment I lost all trust in her,” he recalled. “It wasn’t just the cheating—it was the constant lying and deception. We later spoke to a mutual couple friend, and after hearing everything, they called her out for her actions.”
Now staring at the collapse of not just a relationship but the future he thought was already within reach, the man turned to fellow Singaporeans for advice.
“Should I tell the wife about her husband’s affair? If my fiancée eventually wants me back, should I even consider it? How do I let go of not just the relationship, but the future we built together—the wedding, the BTO, and the life I thought we were going to have?”
“Do not ever take her back”
In the comments, many urged the post author to cut ties with his fiancée for good.
One user told him, “Please end this before it’s too late. Divorce is costly, and so is the toll it takes on your mental health. She has repeatedly chosen to be unfaithful, and it doesn’t seem like the cheating will stop. An HDB flat can always be transferred or forfeited. A wedding can always be postponed. But the emotional trauma caused by ongoing abuse can leave lasting scars. Your well-being is worth protecting.”
Another commented, “You built a life with her, but you dodged a bullet by not marrying and spending the rest of your life with her. Do not ever take her back. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
Others also urged him to tell the colleague’s wife about the affair.
One wrote, “She deserves to know that her husband is doing things that he shouldn’t, behind her back, while she’s busy dealing with a newborn baby and all the postpartum stuff. He should be supporting her and helping out as much as possible instead of fooling around with some other woman.”/TISG
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