Reddit user says people have to speak aggressively in Singapore or else others ‘will walk over you’

SINGAPORE: A local Reddit user wrote in a recent post that he used to speak politely to people, but this resulted in a lack of respect. When he began to speak in a more assertive way, however, things changed.

“Living in Sg has taught me one thing, you’ve got to speak aggressively, or else ppl will walk over you. I’ve always been a polite and respectful person, but it doesn’t seem like people value it. So I stopped being polite, and suddenly everybody started being respectful,” wrote u/yawow49 on a post on r/SingaporeRaw on June 7.

Not only did his manner of speaking change, but he also began to call people out on their flaws, as well as became “less tolerant of bs,” which people seemed to love “so much,” he added.

However, he added that he could not tell if people really like him better this way, or if they secretly dislike it, but pretend to love it because “it’s just the culture here.”

“What is wrong with the people in SG?” he asked, adding that politeness appears to be an invitation to get disrespected.

Some commenters on his post appeared to agree, like the Reddit user who wrote, “In SG, being polite is considered weak… I used to smile, try to use soft words at the office, but people started screaming at me … I just walked away. Eventually, I left.”

Others said they believe kindness is seen as a weakness.

However, when another pushed back, writing that politeness and speaking up are not a contradiction, the post author, sounding angry, doubled down.

“People only respond to authority, no other way around. I have seen many people who have done nothing get screamed at, then they scream at others who are weaker than them,” he argued, adding that this has happened to him. He no longer believes that anyone is genuinely kind, and that it’s part of human nature to be hierarchical.

“There is definitely no point being nice to people who are strangers,” he added. 

A Redditor sympathised, writing, “I hear you. It’s always easy to give back as received. On a deeper level, is this how you want the future to be? There will always be people like that. So if you want to be a part of that, go on. If not, be how you want to be. All the best, I know you’re trying.”

Another pointed out that Singapore’s founding Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew, had said he would rather be feared than loved. 

“Maybe Singaporeans are inspired by him, or that Singaporeans are used to thinking this is the characteristic of a good leader,” they wrote. /TISG

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