SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman has sparked a lively discussion online after sharing that men have become a little too comfortable doing the bare minimum when it comes to dating.
Posting on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, she said that many of the men she has gone on dates with appear more than happy to leave all the planning and decision-making to her.
From choosing where to meet and what to eat to planning activities and keeping the conversation alive, she often finds herself doing all the heavy lifting while her date simply tags along for the ride.
“I don’t mind paying for myself on dates. In fact, I usually do,” she continued. “But what bothers me is when the guy doesn’t even make the slightest effort to plan anything. Like I’m expected to just decide everything. Where to go, what to eat, what to do… While he just shows up.”
She went on to share some of the more underwhelming dating experiences she has encountered.
“I’ve met guys whose idea of dating is literally just ‘come my house and watch Netflix,’ Then somehow the conversation starts, and it’s just dry replies, memes, or ‘Wyd’ at random hours.”
“One guy straight up told me relationships shouldn’t require effort, and it should just ‘flow naturally.’ Another said if I like him, I should just stop thinking so much and go with the vibe.”
After repeatedly running into similar situations, she decided to ask a question she felt was completely reasonable: “What exactly are you bringing to the relationship?”
The response, she said, wasn’t great. “Some got offended by the question. This isn’t a one-off experience either. I’ve met people like this from dating apps and even through mutual friends.”
“For context, I’m doing quite well for myself. Stable career, decent income, I can afford my own lifestyle, go on trips when I want, take care of my own stuff.”
Curious whether others were experiencing the same thing, she asked fellow Reddit users if this had become the norm in Singapore’s dating scene.
“Are more guys just not willing to put in effort anymore? Or am I somehow attracting the wrong crowd? Anyone else experienced this before? Or maybe I should just focus on myself and stop expecting much from dating for now?”
She added, “I don’t want to become cynical because I still believe there are plenty of good guys out there. But sometimes dating feels less like finding a partner and more like I’m carrying the whole interaction alone while the guy just follows along.”
“A lot of girls these days also give zero effort..”
In the comments, one user said she and her female friends have had many conversations about the state of dating in Singapore and found that many women share similar frustrations.
“I spoke to my girlies about it, and the majority of us are on the same page about Singapore dating scenes. And even if they put in effort, the 2nd date or late-night texts start heading somewhere completely different. Or even better, receiving an ‘I miss you’ message after the 3rd day of talking without meeting.”
Others, however, argued that this issue is not limited to either gender. One individual explained that the modern dating culture, particularly in the age of dating apps, has encouraged many people to put in less effort because there is always the possibility of finding someone new with a few swipes.
Another commented, “A lot of girls these days also give zero effort and don’t take initiatives in SG.”
A third added, “Guys do put in a lot of effort and try a lot. Especially in their early years of dating. They now know how to identify girls that are not worth the effort. Make yourself into someone worth the effort.”/TISG
In other news, a jobseeker was left shocked after what he thought was an interview for an admin position allegedly turned into a recruitment pitch for an insurance role and ended with the interviewer scolding him for not being “driven” enough.
Sharing his experience on the r/singaporejobs subreddit, the man said he had originally applied for an “admin and operations” executive position through JobStreet.
Read more: ‘Younger generations have no drive’: Interviewer lashes out after jobseeker rejects insurance role
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